Am I "A Blogger"? We'll see...

2008-06-08T01:10:00.001Z

I need to properly update with stag info etc.

2007-09-25T19:34:00.001Z

But for now...

"Fuck you. It's not your place to say who plays what role in our wedding. Every time you have me thinking that you might have genuinely become a nice person, you prove instead that you are instead a petty, paranoid, self-obsessed arsehole.

So I say again...
Fuck.
You.

You're not welcome - You're tolerated."

27/03/02

2007-09-09T22:54:00.000Z

This is a list of most of the tunes I played that night.
There are some gaps, but you get the jist.

Hehheh.
It's weird looking back, thinking about how much has happened since then...

Therapy? - Diane
NIN - Something I Can Never Have
Prodigy - Scienide
Filter / Crystal Method - Trip Like I Do
Apartment 26 - Hallucinating
Faith No More / Boo Ya T.R.I.B.E - Another Body Murdered
Eminem - '97 Bonnie And Clyde
Senser - No Comply
System Of A Down - War?
Bloodhound Gang - I Hope You die
Prodigy / Pop Will Eat Itself - Their Law
Marilyn Manson - Dope Hat
Iron Maiden - Run To The Hills
Save Ferris (?) - Come On Eileen (Pesky misnamed punk covers ahoy!)
Horny Toad - Shiver
MXPX - Cristalena
Fat - Downtime
Alice In chains - Them Bones
Camp Kill Yourself - Flesh Into Gear
Skunk Anansie - I Can Dream ('Mon the Rat Trap!)
Anthrax - Startin' Up A Posse
Entombed - Like This With The Devil
Sepultura - Refuse/Resist (Live)
Motorhead - Enter Sandman
Van Halen - Jump
Black Sabbath - Paranoid
28 Days - Goodbye
Goldfinger - 99 Red Balloons
Nine Inch Nails - Closer
The Union Underground - Turn Me On Mr Dead Man
Faith No More - Epic
Linkin Park - The Untitled (In The End)
Rage Against The Machine - Bombtrack
Dead Prez / Static-X - (Bigger Than) Hip Hop
Incubus - Shaft
Glassjaw - Ry Ry's Song
Powerman 5000 - When Worlds Collide
10 Masked Men - Blue (RAR!)
Prodigy - Smack My Bitch Up
Atari Teenage Riot - Destroy 2000 Years Of Culture
Mighty Mighty Bosstones - The Impression That I Get
Carter USM - Sheriff Fatman
Machine Head - Old
Fear Factory - Replica (Electrix Sheep Mix)
Pantera - Fucking Hostile
The Goops - Build Me Up Buttercup

Goddam it, my cryotube malfunctioned.

2007-08-25T05:51:00.000Z

So I tried to go to bed nice and early, given that I'm getting picked up back of 8 today for the Collectormania UKCM 'drop.

Tried.
Ended up going to bed around my normal time of 1am, and couldn't sleep because of my sore leg so watched an episode of Red Dwarf then turned the lights out.
Still couldn't sleep.
Finally started to drift off about 3am.
Then my phone pinged.
"CHARGING".

OK.

*PING*
"CHARGING"

Right. Shit. *Suspicion*
I reached for my lamp.
*Click*
Nothing.

So that's not actually a car alarm I can hear, is it?
It's not going to go off soon, is it?
Because there is, in fact, a power cut, and it's set off soemone's house alarm.
Normally, I'd be happy as the light outside my window would be off. Dark = sleep.
BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP.
Bugger.

Just after 4, it finally stopped.
I started to nod off again - And found myself in Kat's mum's car, screaming at her because I've just worked out that she's drunk at the wheel.

Woke myself up I was so angry, then got confused... She's not driven drunk since Morgan was born.
Very very odd :|
I guess my brain knew I was angry at her for messing us about this weekend, and somehow came up with the drink driving thing - Maybe from a newspaper article?

After that, it's simply been failure to sleep after failure to sleep.
The next time, I ALMOST nodded off justafter 6, then bloody Lee started whining. I'd already gone through around 5 to put his dummy in but by this time I was so tired and sore I couldn't even move.

And by "Bollocks, it's nearly 7" I've given up on sleep and the kettle's on.

Time for some more Red Dwarf I feel.
If you see me passed out at Collectormania, I am merely emulating Hicks in the dropship.
It's in character, right?

More evidence that certain subsections of "the human race"...

2007-08-22T22:48:00.000Z

... are not worthy of the name, and deserve nothing more than fucking death.

A friend of mine was shoved into by some piece of shit ned on the bus the other night.
Why?
He was wearing a camo jacket.
( The ned was overheard talking to its mate about it ).

My friend's female companion said something, unsure what.
Whatever it was, though, it did NOt warrant this piece of filth coming back up the bus, pulling a fucking SWORD from its sleeve, and twatting poor Clot in the head with it.

Scum.
Utter fucking scum.
No excuses, no "But there's nothing to do in their area" bollocks, none of your fucking attempts to let this fucking cunt off the hook.
He carried a sword, and used it on someone who had done him no harm.

If that's the sort of shite that society thinks is worth keeping, then I don't want to be part of society.

No, really, I've fucking had enough.

2007-07-24T21:32:00.001Z

This is getting beyond a joke, and I'm finding it harder and harder to stay calm every time it happens.

Kat rang her Mum today to see if she's OK to go back to the normal "Kat's Mum takes the kids on Wednesdays and Thursdays from 11am, so Kat and Steve can, y'know, go to work and stuff." plan.

She's now saying that she doesn't want to be in the house with "Hhhiiiiiim".[/whinyfuckingvoice]

This being a follow-up to a few weeks ago when she turned up
half an hour before she was supposed to
and started giving it "Oh, I might go away and come back later for you" to Kat - Who she was supposed to be taking shopping for bridesmaids' dresses, dropping sproglets off at my Mum's for a while. ( She can't navigate to Newton Mearns, so Kat had to go with for that part of the journey. )

So she was 30 minutes early - Fraz and G were picking me up to be at The Dream event we were helping organise to be at the shop for 10am. At about 5 to, I commented to Kat that "I think Fraz and G have told me to be ready half an hour before they actually need me to be! Heh. Gits."

Well, the silly old cow must have misoverheard this, since a little later I was sitting minding my own business, when she stuck her head into the hall and spat "Oh, and BY. The. Way. I was told to be here at HALF PAST NINE. Right?".

This kinda confused me, I had no idea WTF she was on about.
I went into the lounge to ask.

"You know. I heard what you said to Kathryn about me being here early. Well I was told half past nine and that's that."

I told her, then. POLITELY, and actually backed off across the room so she can't come out with any more lies about me being intimidating...
"Well, two things.

One, I was there when Kat said ten o'clock. And two, I was talking about Fraz and G telling me to be ready early, I said nothing about you."

"That's your story."

"I'm sorry? Are you calling me a liar? I'd appreciate it if you believed what I said, since I AM telling the truth."

"Just shut up."

At that point, my voice raised. Slightly.
I still wasn't shouting.

I spoke slowly, and clearly... but loudly so she couldn;'t fucking pull the "I'm deeeeeeeeeeaff"[/fuckingwhinyvoice] card.

"I will not be disrespected and accused of being a liar in my own home."

"I'll get out of it, then."

And she fucked off.

Yup.
She was meant to be taking her daughter shopping for fucking BRIDESMAIDS' DRESSES, and she fucked off in a huff.

Oh, and also...
Dave's no longer giving Kat away.
Her Mum is.

I am fucking seething at this.
Her Mum has caused us nothing but problems, and given us nothing but grief.
What little help she gives us in terms of babysitting while we're at work is still given grudgingly, and peppered with whinging and moaning.

But I'm the one in the wrong, and she's refusing to even help with the kids now.
So Kat has to take tomorrow off work.

Alllll of this is on top of us offering to help pay for the insurance for her new car.

And that's another fucking story.
She was given a quote for £1200 over 3 years.. TOTAL. That's ALL she pays for this car.
And she moaned she couldn't afford it.

I said that Kat and I would put something to it - After all, she does drive the kids around and all.

All I got was a dirty look, she being obviously pissed off that I hadn't offered to pay the lot.
Fuck that. Not happening. She has nothing she needs to pay for aside from food and electricity/TV/phone bills.

Then a few days later, she gets a "verbal offer" on the phone, that somehow results in the £1200 being waived?

She's not got anything in writing yet... Or at least, she's not shown us anything.

Someone, somewhere, is bullshitting about something in this matter.

I can fucking feel it.
I don't know what's going on, but something ain't right.

And I know fine well that if she does end up getting stuck with the bill in one go, it's us she'll whinge at to pay it.

Seriously, she's a liar, a manipulator, a whinging fucking child.

And if she keeps up her bullshit making our lives hard then I seriously, honestly and definitely do NOT want her at any wedding of mine.

If she's gonna fuck us around this much, with hte entire goddamn family's attitude being "Let her away with it. Can't do anything else." then it's her or me.

We keep letting her have her own way, then she keeps expecting it.
She needs to fucking learn to respect other people, to LISTEN to them, and that things will not always be the way she wants them.

Oh, yeah... Did I mention the butter?

She keeps gouging the butter.
So water condenses in the gouges, and it goes off.

I asked her politely not to do this.
I was ignored.

So I grabbed a marker pen, and wrote on the tub:
"Please do not gouge".

I was ignored.
So I grabbed a bit of paper, and wrote:
"No, really. Please do not gouge."

She rang Kat, and Kat's aunt, to moan.
"I couldn't believe the cheek of it!"

Kat pointed out that the gouging is irritating.
Kat's Aunt - A supposedly responsible adult?
"I hope you gave it a right big gouge, to teach him a lesson."

Uh huh. So that's how this family respects the property of other people, is it?

And she later said to Kat:
"
I mean, the sheer cheek! He's already written it on the tub itself!"

YES!
I FUCKING HAD, YOU MORON!
AND YOU COULDN'T FOLLOW A SIMPLE FUCKING REQUEST LIKE THAT, COULD YOU?!?!

Honestly, if I didn't need her in my home if we want to work, I'd outright tell her where to fucking go.
This goes on, and on, and on... I'm near the end of my tether and it's just lucky I seem to keep finding more tether.
Something's got to give someday though. My hand still hurts because I slapped it off a wall today without even knowing I did it.
I can't6 take this.

And if she does thing one to ruin our fucking wedding day, then there will be a fucking scene and a half.
I will not take any of her shite on that one day of my life.

None.

Right, fuck it.

2007-07-24T18:52:00.001Z

Where's the off switch?
Someone fucking show me.
Now.

Arseholes...

2007-07-04T22:17:00.000Z

So ( one of ) the arsehole(s) from the other day emailed head office to complain!
The one who's opening line was "!If ah wantit sumbdy else's dodgy goods, Ah'dda..." aimed at the tiny blonde girl instead of either of the dudes at the till.

Apparently, he was never rude, nor aggressive. He made sure to state that right at the start of
his email.
He also "done everything it says in the manual", and the item still wouldn't work. I assume he can read English better than he can write it...

And apparently I was "Very aggressive", and what I said "came across like a threat".

Not sure how, given that only told him repeatedly to calm down and stop abusing my colleagues if he wanted any sort of assistance from any of us.

The duty manager also got it - He "Snatched the credit card very aggressively" after I'd "Aggressively asked if he had the card the dish was bought with".
Which is a lie anyway, as I never agreed to a refund, and passed that section to D.

I suspect this creature might just have learned the meaning of the word "aggressive" - Although if he hasn't, and he comes into the store again... He will.
Prick.
Not that I plan to sink to his level and get in his face.
He'll get one word, and one word only.
"Leave."

Oh, and Head Office
haven't told us what they're doing yet - They did ask D what his response was to be.

I swear, if they fucking well apologise on my behalf, I'll be demanding an apology from THEM!
I owe that arsehole nothing, and all the less after his pack of lies.

I. Fucking. Hate. Liars.
Specially when they lie about me.

Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it?

2007-07-03T00:17:00.000Z

par·a·noi·a [par-uh-noi-uh] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun

Psychiatry. a mental disorder characterized by systematized delusions and the projection of personal conflicts, which are ascribed to the supposed hostility of others, sometimes progressing to disturbances of consciousness and aggressive acts believed to be performed in self-defense or as a mission.

2.	baseless or excessive suspicion of the motives of others.

ap·pre·hen·sion [ap-ri-hen-shuhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun

1.	anticipation of adversity or misfortune; suspicion or fear of future trouble or evil.

2.	the faculty or act of apprehending, esp. intuitive understanding; perception on a direct and immediate level.

3.	acceptance of or receptivity to information without passing judgment on its validity, often without complete comprehension.

4.	a view, opinion, or idea on any subject.

5.	the act of arresting; seizure.

fore·bode [fawr-bohd, fohr-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, -bod·ed, -bod·ing. –verb (used with object)

1.	to foretell or predict; be an omen of; indicate beforehand; portend: clouds that forebode a storm.

2.	to have a strong inner feeling or notion of (a future misfortune, evil, catastrophe, etc.); have a presentiment of.

–verb (used without object)

3.	to prophesy.

4.	to have a presentiment.

Baseless and in me.
It has to be, since if it's not then everything is wrong.
No way of finding out so I need to simply know without knowing.
Should be simple, right?

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank!

2007-06-28T23:43:00.000Z

So this week's been a great one for arseholes in my work!

Yesterday, some prick came in, ignored me and Andy and went straight for Kerri to yell as an opening line "If I wanted someone else's shoddy merchandise, I'd have bloody well-..." before I cut him off. The prick.
Kerri being roughly half my height and a tenth of my mass, and quite timid at the best of times it seems ( She's new. )

This utter cunt had bought a satellite system the day before, and been too much of a fucktard to be able to set it up himself, so had brought it back and demanded an exchange - Which he got.
Sadly, we forgot to upgrade his brain to a non-moron model, so he couldn;t set up the second system either.

Oddly, as soon as I politely told him to calm down and stop abusing my colleague or he would receive no help whatsoever... He lowered his voice.
Odd, that.
Cowardly prick, picking on the wee girl.

The second guy was just a nutter...

Me : Would you like me to add you to our mailing list?
Him : Yes. Alright.
Me : OK, cool. What's your address?
Him : [Tells me his address]
Me : Ta. What's your surname?
Him : I don't have one. Umm.. Erm... I've never been asked that before. I've not got one. Erm.. Anthony I think? Maybe?

And no, he wasn't Forn. Spoke with a Glasgow accent.
Was just a Nutter.

The third guy?

Another wank.

This one stormed in, slammed a phone/answering machine down on the counter in front of me, and stated:

"Telephone."

OK, what about it?

"It's no workin'."

The next ten minutes or so saw me asking him what wasn't working, and him informing me that he couldn't get it set up - And that "my mate" had told him to bring it in and he'd set it up for him. ( We'll find out what exactly Andy DID say tomorrow... ).

Upon being asked by myself if he'd read the manual, this old arse gave me a look like I was dogshit on his shoe, and sneered "Don't ask stupid basic questions. Of course I read the manual. It doesn't work. The time won't set properly."

Up until now, this guy wasn't getting an iota of assistance - I fucking hate folk with bad attitudes, and while I'll bend over backwards to help a polite customer ( Bearing in mind that tech support is NOT officially part of our job... ) if someone's giving me shit like that then they can fuck off and work it out for themselves.

So he's claiming it's buggered, and demanding I fix it.
And he's also adamant that he followed the manual?
Let's see, shall we?

Bollocks.
I read the manual page on setting the clock, followed the steps, and lo and behold... Correct time.

"OK, sir. I've set your clock to the correct time.. All you had to do was follow those steps."
"Show me."

So I reached out without looking at the phone, continuing to smile at the customer, and pressed the button to make the phone speak the time.
The girl behind him in the queue about wet herself trying not to laugh at that point.

"Well, it didn't work when I did it."
"Sorry, but you must have misread the manual. It's quite simple."
"Right, that's set. Now do the numbers and things."

Umm... Piss off.
I got my boss to come hover, and ( Again, perfectly politely ) apologised to the dude, but I didn't have time to set up the rest of the phone but if he folowed the manual like I did, he'd get the same results I did.

Prick lost the rag!
"I'm an engineer by trade for many years blah blah blah... You need to lose the attitude!"

My boss stepped in at this juncture to point out that far from having a bad attitude, I'd already done more than I'm really supposed to to help him out by showing him how to set his phone up.

"He didn't! He did it and didn't show me what he did!"

I felt obliged to point out once more that the manual has got little photographs of the buttons he needs to press, in order, and if he did so then he'd have a fully working phone.

End result?
Twatman trying to offer my boss outside for fisticuffs, after my boss told him to leave for calling me a smartarse at the top of his lungs.

If I was in smartarse mode, he'd have been a damn site more pissed off than that!

To cap it off, for some reason he yelled that I was a shit in Italian as he fucked off out the door.

I love my job :)

*Cue "But Steve... The customer is always right, and should always be treated politely" replies.

No, sorry. The customer can sometimes be a cunt... But those are the customers who get treated with EXTRA politeness, and it drives them NUTS to find their rudeness met only with courtesy and professionalism.

NUTS.
:D

Not sure whether to laugh or boak!

2007-06-21T09:54:00.001Z

So I walked into the lounge, about 20 minutes after telling Morgan to get dressed.

Of course, she's standing naked watching CBeebies.

"Daddy! Wook!"

... she says, pointing at me.

There's something on the end of her finger.

"What's that, Morgan?"
I inquire - Suspecting bogeyness.

"It's a gwaaape!"

"Right, OK."
It's a bogey. Looks like a bogey, and is about the right size.

I pick up a wipe, and remove it from the offending digit.

"It's a gwape fom my BUUMMM!"

*Blink*

*Blink blink*

Gaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Costume Update : Kat / Dropship Pilot

2007-06-20T23:07:00.001Z

Given the imminent debut of Kat at one of the UKCM events, I'm trying to get at least one costume together for her before the next Drop.

The simplest ( In terms of "Well, it's not complete, but it's at a wearable stage and folk will 'get it' ) is the Dropship Pilot.
Mk11 flight suit, aviator shades, and a helmet being the main "Visual marks" that need hitting.
All three marks now hit.

Plenty of detailing, patches, greeblies, props still to go but here's the crowning glory.

... as it were.

Next on the agenda : Costume 2 - Armour.

Meh.

2007-06-19T21:21:00.001Z

That is all.

Fathers' Day

2007-06-17T19:07:00.000Z

I gotta CAKE anna CARD anna BADGE!
Woo!! Yay!!!

Morgan, Lee and Kat rule :)

( So do Bart Simpson and Weird Cat Thing )

I know, I know...

2007-06-13T16:55:00.000Z

I'll try to get time to do a few mini-updates tonight, hopefully get backdated to the last entry.

For now, I'll amuse you with a tale of bizarrenessosity...

The doorbell just rang, and it was Morgan's wee pal from along the road.
"Yes?"
"*Points* Morgan's not sharing that!"

"*Follows direction of pointyfinger*... What? THAT? *Points*"

"Yes. She's not sharing it!"

I'm now sitting trying to work out how you can NOT share a see-saw.
Specially when there's two kids on the bugger.

:|

Dubbadubbadubbaduhdubbaduhdub...

2007-04-30T22:55:00.000Z

WOARGH!

White lines?
Or just an envelope full of powder?

Aye - Some wanker sent what ended up being ( Hopefully ) plaster dust to Kat's work's mailroom today.
Someone opened the envelope...
And a number of FUCKING ARSEHOLES that were in the room at the time decided to go round the building to tell folk what had happened.

GREAT QUARANTINE PROCEDURE THERE, YOU STUPID TWATTING IDIOTS!
Way to expose everyone else to whatever it was.

Man, some people DESERVE to be anthraxed...

Maybe I should have a celebratory glass engraved, or something?

2007-04-27T22:42:00.000Z

"[23:13] RandomFactor: me > you
[23:39] Reverend Scapegoat - Grievous...: Go to the gym then, for fuck's sake.
[23:42] RandomFactor: that maybe the funniest thing you've ever said"

:D
I am deeply touched, and truly honoured.
*Dances*

WTF?

2007-04-17T19:31:00.001Z

Fuck's sake...

See if we weren't so concerned with "keeping the peace"?

2007-04-16T19:18:00.000Z

I'd say that anyone with the nerve to sit in their nice big posh house, and say to someone who's struggling to afford all they want to do for their wedding as it is... "Oh, well, if X, Y and Z family member aren't invited to your wedding
I don't know if we can make it"

... Has one hell of a nerve, and can just bugger off and not bother coming, then.

But we are, so I can't.
Pffft.

"I might work for the company, but don't let that fool you. I'm really an OK guy!"

2007-04-15T22:48:00.000Z

So, it's been a kinda "Meh" period sonce last update.
Had a few arguments with my head marshals for the site, except it wasn't so much as arguments as one of 'em bitching to other folk about me.
Have asked him to get me a "Wants list" of stuff he thinks I should get or do for the site, so the ball's in his court now. We'll see.

I almost had the opportunity to run a day's games on a cracking CQB site, but it'd have been "on behalf of" that site's owner, and my lot felt that to do so would be neglecting S8 Alanton.
What, running it on my weekend off? From MY OWN SITE?
I disagree, but in the interests of peace and harmony, and because I have way too much shite on to be bothered with the hassle it'd have caused... I turned it down.

Shame, as it's a great site.

In better news, I got a new tattoo.
Yay!

Thanks, and recommendations for Chameleon Tattoos in Paisley. Just round the corner from The Lagoon.
Leon did the outline, and Barry did the filling in as part of his training.
Which, yes, means I got it for free. Double w00t.

Happy Birthday Lee! Roll on April... Up Yours, March!

2007-04-03T17:43:00.000Z

So, Lee's a year old today.
My ears are one year more damaged than they were 12 months ago.

Kat's had a tooth out today, so is a bit woozy... Hence we're leaving cake etc til tomorrow.

Which means we're 3 days into April, and it's not bad so far. Decent Airsoft game on Sunday, followed by a highly enjoyable Wrestlemania.
March, on the other hand, sucked.

By far the worst of it was Grandad passing away - His funeral was last Thursday at Lynn Crematorium, with the "wake" ( Or whatever non-Catholics call it ) at the Millenium Suite at Hampden Park.
He got a good send-off, and I'll miss him loads. He, like Pal, was a wonderful human being who'd have done anything for anyone.
Sadly, Grandad faded slowly, so I feel like I've not really seen him for about a year - At Christmas he seemed himself for a wee while, on and off, but any time I visited him in hospital it was like he had no idea who we were at times.
The bloody crematorium got the music wrong too - Refused to play the Green Day song we'd chosen when we wanted it, then doubled the cockup by playing it AGAIN instead of the Carpenters track Grandma wanted for later on.
Meh.

Also in March, Kat had a couple of panic attacks - The first, and worst, being on the way home from the pub with Marri ( And earlier Julie ).
I took her to the doc's the next day ( Monday ) and he reckoned it was stress building up and building up, and exploding because she drank too much that night.
So she's partially off work at the moment through said stress... Basically, she just needs to chill the hell out.

In other shitty March news, I got ripped off by some arsehole private hire players, who were unfortunately members of Rob's college class... And when someone's indirectly responsible for you being gypped out of cash, but THEY threaten YOU with a decking, as if it's somehow your fault - Well, it sucks to lose a friend but friends don't imply imminent violence to one's person.

And one of my good friends' wife turned out to have been cheating on him since December.
I only found out towards the end of March, as everyone thought someone else had told me! She'd actually been caught and moved out as of a month ago!
The very day I found out, he followed her from her work, saw her kissing the prick in the middle of town, and hooked the swine.

And the arrogant wanker has the audacity to start sending threatening texts as if HE'S somehowthe one who was wronged - Although he knowingly shagged a married woman?

Up yours, mate, you're utter filth.
Oh, he played the race card too, basically implying "Me and all my Greek mates will beat you up".

Michelle, if you read this - Remember... Anything that happens to the wee man is on YOUR head.
And if he's hurt in any way, you are directly responsible.

He seems to be dealing with it a bit better now than a few weeks ago, though.
He's realised that she's scum, and just wants to move on.
It hurt all of us, to trust someone and find out the hard way how evil they really are - Nothing to do BUT move on, though...

And move on we shall.
Roll on April.

Maybe one day...

2007-02-24T23:37:00.000Z

... I'll get to watch a goddamn movie in ONE SODDING GO!

Bloody kids.

Awright, Ben?

2007-02-19T01:22:00.000Z

'Sup?
:D

Spelunking is bad.

2007-02-13T20:28:00.000Z

Hindsight is good.
:(

Fucking scum.

2007-01-29T00:18:00.000Z

If anyone feels the need to defend neds at this juncture, please fuck off now.

I tried to do the right thing, and accepted a booking in good faith for 8 guys from a "residential centre" for S8 Airsoft today.
Two staff members, and 8 residents.
7 residents showed, and only one staff member played. The other sat on her arse in the car.

They did well, to be honest.
Behaved OK, and there was less horseplay than I expected, but still more than I liked.
Shooting your mate in the arse or cock is shite, and taking a piss in the middle of a firefight is just fucking stupid. Specially if you ain't even got the brains to do it against a tree.
Luckily the three incidents were seperate.

Sadly, the "pleasantly surprised" factor wasn't to last.

Some piece of shit managed to find the cashbox, open it, and steal the takings for the day.

50 players.
8 of whom hired guns.
£16 per player and £15 per hire.
18 bottles of ammo sold at £6 each.

Do the maths, and join me in utter contempt for the fucking piece of shit that ripped me off.

We have no proof yet that it was one of those guys, but given that two of them got into a fight immediately upon their return to the centre... And it turned out afterwards that one among them all was suspiciously reluctant to return the friendly goodbye that a few of my players gave the group - Choosing instead to walk as fast as he could to the car...

I'm pretty confident.

Rage.

Greenhills. Gotta love it.

2007-01-12T18:32:00.000Z

It's not actually that bad an area, but by christ we've got some fucking filth living here.

The SaTURDay morning before last, I went to get the bus to work... Only to find a huge great definitely-seemed-human shite sitting mostly on the metal bench, with part of it broken off and plopped to the ground below.

Seems pretty clear to me that this is the work of either a complete fucking wanker who thinks it's funny to take a dump where folk normally sit, an incredibly acrobatic dog, or a complete fucking wanker who thinks it's funny to scoop up dogshit and place it where folk normally sit.

Either way, it was put there by an arsehole in more ways than one.

Or am I being overly judgemental again and it's actually OK for a supposedly civilised human being to defacate in a bus shelter on a very windy road?

Same area, earlier tonight - Some other piece of human detritus has amused themselves by knocking one of the security lights away from the steps leading to the underpass... And a week or two ago it finally stopped swinging by the cable and snapped completely.

I'd kinda noticed it, but not really put much thought into it, assuming that the council would have disconnected it pretty quickly.

Not the case.
Walked past it today without even thinking, when there's an almighty ZZZAP, a cloud of sparks blast me in the face, and the lights go out right down to the lane beyond the street.

High voltage cabling, exposed and blowing in the wind?

Lovely.
Good job I'd only metaphorically gone to the shop to buy gas!

Large Electronic Goods Chainstore Tales : 2

2006-12-22T00:54:00.000Z

So I'm stood by the till, and this wee middle-aged woman comes up.
"I need one of those Tamagotchi pet things, please."

-Sure, no problem.

She leans over the counter, and hisses...

"But, you know... There's pakis out there!"

-Umm... Sorry?

I said, there's PAKIS out there!

-So, umm... Why exactly is that a problem?

"Pakis! My car's on a double yellow."

Parking attendants.
PARKIES.

Racism, rife in East Kilbride Shopping Centre.
Or not.

Large Electronic Goods Chainstore Tales : 1

2006-12-16T13:09:00.000Z

So I was standing up at the back counter, sorting fuses into alphabetical order or some shit, when this old couple appear.
A wee old dude in a Davros chair, with those big wraparound amber specs... And his wee old wife, who had the sort of face that gave me great comfort in the knowledge that all the nettles in her home area are going to be 100% urine-free.

They produce one of the wee radio-controlled helicopters we sell.
And thus, the saga begins...

"This is broken. We want a refund."

As per standard operating procedure, I told them I'd be happy to test the item, and if I found it to be faulty, they'd be welcome to their refund.

"It's broken. You switch it on, and it just flies straight up."

-Fair enough, but I still need to test it.

So I switched the helicopter on, and then turned on the controller.

"Don't turn that on. It goes haywire when that's switched OFF."

- Have you charged it properly? These things can develop a mind of their own when the battery's almost flat.

"Yes, of course I have. We charged it three times."
[ This seemed odd to me, since how can you charge it three times if you're not getting use out of it enough to flatten the battery? ]

- Well...
*We stand for a minute or two, staring at the decidedly non-going-haywire helicopter*
... Looks OK to me.
Lemme test the controller.

I switched the controller on, and brought the chopper up into a hover.
Flew it around, then crashed it into the wall.
I suck at flying R/C choppers.

-Seems to be flying fine to me.

"It's broken."

-Sorry, but it's not. It responded fine to the controller, and isn't showing any signs of a fault.
Perhaps you've got something in your home interfering? Kids next door?

"No! There's no children. Pfft."

-Well, I didn't know that. Microwave perhaps?

"It could be those walkie talkies you sell."

*I grab one and press Transmit*
-Nope. Not those.
Either way, something in your home's causing interference.
The helicopter's fine. We can't give you a full refund, since the packaging's been damaged.

"WHAT? This is outrageous. Get a manager."

-OK.

So one of the managers comes over, and tells them that we can give them a refund minus a 20% restock fee ( Usually 10% at manager's discretion, but the Belligerence Fee is an extra 10% on top. )

" We haven't damaged the box at all. This is how we got it."

- Sorry. The fact remains, the polystyrene is warped, and the unit HAS been played with. Legally, it's now second hand.

"Fine. We're going to the Citizen's Advice Bureau."

-OK, cheers. Here's your money back minus the 20%. Have a nice day!

So I go back to repackaging the chopper.
A few minutes pass.

"You. I'll be having the batteries back from the controller."

I love polite customers.
I'm more than happy to drop what I'm doing to help 'em.

-OK. Just let me finish putting...

...these...

...twiiiist...

...tttiiiiieeessss...

...in...

...to...

...the...

...b...

...o...

...x.

OK, done. Lemme just open the battery box.

Mrs BLPOAN then pipes up again.

"I think it's absolutely atrocious how we've been treated here."

- I'm sorry if you feel that we've not been helpful, but as you saw yourself, the helicopter works fine. Here.
We're not responsible for any issues your home may have regarding radio controlled products.

"What?! It's not our home's fault. That thing is a health hazard! It broke our paper lampshade"

[ These things are made of FOAM. I could hit you with one with all of my mighty might, and it would not bruise you. ]

- Well, sorry. It's not broken. It works fine. There's something in your home causing interference. You'd be fine playing with one elsewhere.

"Just because it's working here doesn't mean it's fine!"

- Yes. Yes it does.

"I had to climb a ladder to get the thing off of the ceiling!"

- Sorry to hear that. It's not broken. Something's causing interference in your home. Microwave, maybe?

"When you turned it on, YOU crashed it into the wall."

- Yes. I suck at flying them. But it did exactly what I told it to do. I just inadvertently told it to crash into a wall is all.

[ All this time, I'm popping the batteries out onto the counter. ]

"This is terrible. The thing is broken. You're just saying what you've been told to say. Do you honestly think this is alright?"

- I'm sorry, but that's not true. I've been playing with R.C. gear for years, and I'm giving you my personal opinion on the situation.

"I don't care what you do in your spare time!"

- Well, you did ask. And I'm giving you my opinion. And right now, you have two options. You can either listen to what I'm telling you - And have the benefit of my experience in such matters... Or you can take your batteries and leave the shop.
Here's your batteries. Thank you. Have a nice day.

[ They fucked off. ]

One of the other managers then appeared behind me, and told me that he was just waiting for her to ask for a manager again, as he was dying to just literally pop up over my shoulder, and go

"He's right. Bye!"

TJWBGIIWFTFC!

Viva Espana?

2006-12-16T13:05:00.000Z

So a few days after Dad's wedding, we were off to Spain to see Mum's holiday home there.
It's a wee place they got cheap, the idea being to rent it out to trusted acquaintances and hopefully have it pay for itself as much as possible, while giving the family someplace to go for a cheap break any time we've got spare.

Plan was to head over, get Mum to show us round the town, and hopefully have some fun at the same time.

Sadly, the weather was absolutely atrociuous so we spent most of the time bouncing off the walls, or eating out.
The eating out was great, but I really need to get some entertainment toleave over there - Playstation and some DVDs and board games.

My sister was in a foul mood for pretty much the entire time we were there, which spread a little bit to the rest of us... But the main point of the trip was to become acquainted with the area so when we go out ourselves we'll know where to go.

It wasn't a total disaster, but it could have been better.
I'll blame the weather for the atmosphere, anyway...

Up until the last morning, when the bastard sun was BLAZING - the morning when we visited the uncovered market.
Dunno what bugger was in the Weather Shed that day, but they need their atrse kicked.
Specially since the clouds came back right as we headed for the beach.

I bought meat.
LOTS of meat.
Woo.

Jeez... Update, willya, Steve?

2006-12-16T12:55:00.000Z

OK :)

So, since my last update...

I lost my voice.
Completely and utterly, for a few days, then slightly less croaky over the next few.

Unfortunately, Day 2 was Dad's stag night!
So I spent the night in various Shawlands pubs, trying in vain to join in the conversation without having to croak right in the ear of the person I was talking to!
That aside, it was a fun night. It's good to spend time with the old git, since right now he's still unavailable most of the time due to his work commitments.

Plus, he's hilarious when he's tipsy.
Still won't tell me what he does at work, but.

His wedding was two days after that, and it was great - One family member seemed to be put out that it was on a weekday, but even they cheered up after a wee while. The meal afterwards was outstanding - Over at Red Onion, again with some folk I kinda unavoidably see FAR too rarely for my liking.
Good banter, my voice ALMOST back to normal, and Dad deciding ( He SAYS it was an accident ) to spill as many drinks as possible over my uncle Fred.
And the running joke about Pal being assigned to the Weather Shed seemed dead on for the day. Couldn't have asked for better.

Mikki looked great, and it's absolutely fantastic to have her as a permanent member of the family now.

There's no escape.

Sigh

2006-11-07T19:20:00.000Z

Mnyehfuckit.

I hate when my stuff gets damaged :(
At least nobody got hurt.

Maplin Electronics :)

2006-11-06T23:28:00.000Z

Hired me.
25 hours per week, with weekends free.

I was worried that I'd get into trouble for spending most of my first day gabbing about airsoft.
I was actually half an hour late onto the shop floor as a result :|

Then I remembered!
I was talking to the manager!
Woo! Yay!

"Steve, I hope you don't mind me nipping your ear about the Airsoft stuff..."
"Nope, not a problem. I just hope my boss doesn't give me any shit for standing around gabbing."
"I suspect he's fine with it."

*Grin*

Soup, fireworks, and dressing up..

2006-11-04T20:21:00.000Z

Meh.
So I just nipped upstairs to Morgan's room, as it occurred to me whilst making soup in Teh Pot Of Doom that there's a lot of fireworks going off and if I was three I'd love to be allowed back out of bed to sit on Dad's knee and watch 'em go Bang!

Snuck into her room - Dumbo still on, Morgan gently snorin'.

Opened the curtains and blind, then gave her a gentle prod.

"SSSCCCHNRRRKKKKKKGGH!"

Umm... OK.
Slightly less gentle prod.

"SSCHRNKRNhhheeeeeeeehhh..."

Whispering?

"Mooooooorgan..."

"Meh."

"Do you wanna look at the pretty fireworks?"

Shakes head, resumes snorage.

Little bugger.
I bet she's up PRECISELY 15 minutes before I need to be awake tomorrow, too.

Aside from that, what's been goin' on?

Well.
I took my Colonial Marine gear to the Cathouse for the Saturday Hallowe'en party.
And my mate Gareth came down from Aberdeen, with his Alien costume ( 'Abe' :D ).
Kat pulled off a particularly sexy Poison Ivy.

( No pics of Kat yet, sadly :(:( )

And me and G won £250 between us!
Woo. Yay.

I suffered, though.
Not as much as G, but a fully functional airsoft Pulse Rifle is a heavy bugger of a thing to carry in one hand for 4 or 5 hours.

It was a great night - I had G on a chain for most of the evening - Comedy aside, I needed to stay behind him and keep an eye on his tail and backspines, and it's a good way of communicating until we get radios sorted.

Private hire Airsoft day for Centre One again on the Sunday, so we bailed a little early.

Then on Tuesday, G came down once more for the QM.

Not such a good night.

Some wanker punched Kat in the face trying to grab the aforementioned spines, and some other tit went to "cut the alien's throat" with his cutlass, and stabbed G in the eye.
Whilst in First Aid, we were informed that we'd not been entered in the costume contest because the judges thought we'd hired the costumes.
Bit suspicious about that since one of said judges posted on Altnation a day or so later that the admitted we were the best, and the reason we were never entered was that they'd heard we won the Catty and simply didn't want us to win twice.

Which is a bit shite IMHO.
I couldn't care less about a crappy DVD player, and indeed wouldn't have minded at all if we'd lost to the guy that did win - Toad from Mario Kart, complete with Kart.

It's the way we never even got a fair crack of the whip that annoyed me - Insult to injury... Literally.

G was a touch down about this, but chips cheered him up a little, and the thought of being filmed by the BBC as we can-rattle in costume at Debenham's next Saturday got him to agree to come back down again :)

Abe's made of sterner stuff than that!
Grrrrrr. Hsssssss.

Other news?
My Sis is back from her round the world trip, complete with bump.
Morgan keeps asking her to open her belly so she can play with the baby.
"Lawl".

I have a wedding to attend on the 24th that I'm really looking forward to.

I acquired one of the actual banknotes used during the heist scene in the movie "Serenity".

And I start 25 hour weeks in Maplin Electronics at noon on Monday.

If I think of owt I've missed, I'll be sure to let y'all know.

Today was difficult.

2006-10-12T23:21:00.000Z

On top of a mate messing me about - Ill as he was, he could have solved my problem by simply answering the phone instead of my whole day being wasted... Grandad wasn't doing so well tonight.

And god help me, I tried my best to chat to him. Thought I'd done not too badly, even with Lee screeching the ward down.
But I overheard chat in Mum's kitchen later about how shite it was that I didn't say much.

Which made me feel a whole lot better.

Fuck, he started crying in the middle of talking about football to Kat.
For no apparent reason... Just that. And even before that, the conversation was so random. It made no sense.
And I looked at him, and it seemed like he was crying because he knows what's going on - His flashes of complete lucidity PROVE that!
He knows what's going on but he's trapped behind his own eyes. So when he talked to me for a few minutes with them tight shut, and then the tears began to flow... I barely held ,myself together.

And I feel like that more often than not these days.
I try my hardest to be there for Kat, to keep this place in order, to look after the kids as best I can.
We're getting married in under a year now, and none of the job interviews I've gone for have borne fruit.
S8's doing OK, but the site needs work - So I need to try to get out there to get it done.
And we've both bought gym memberships... And I'm trying to get my money's worth out of that. Kat's been either so tired, or she's had stuff on outside of work, of late that she's hardly been - And I was really enjoying spending time with her somewhere just the two of us that wasn't a cinema or a pub, or our house!
There aren't enough hours in the day or days in the week, and even my own subconscious is fucking with me, since it's decided that now would be a just fucking dandy time to kick in with the bloody night terrors and sleep paralysis again.

At the end of the day, though, it all means fuck all when I think about my grandparents.
I was devastated when Pal died - But it was relatively sudden, and he was kinda himself the last time I saw him.

When I'm told that Grandad's memory is unlikely ever to return to the way it was... Well, your memory is your life.
He's fading, and there's not a thing I can do about it. He's physically not too bad, but there'll be less of my Grandad there with every year that goes by.

I feel pointless.

Update:

2006-10-08T19:57:00.000Z

Not all THAT much new since last post, really.

I played on a new CQB site just down the road... Bloody lethal in some places, but good fun to play on.
And I also attended a charity photocall with the Legion Of Superheroes : Scotland.
Quid a piccie, moolah to Kidney Research.
Pics here:

http://www.altnation.com/gallery/browseimages.php?c=847&userid=

And Kat's signed up too. Yay! Poison Ivy, incoming!

Morgan's got the skitters. That's not so good.

Oh, and speaking of shit, a certain player at my site who has recently been in trouble for losing his temper and dropping litter has apparently been asking some of my marshals if he can have the number for the landlord - So he can "Get Scapey kicked off and take over".

If true... What a bastard.

Ohhhhhhhh...

2006-09-21T10:37:00.000Z

I got a brand new cable modem, and broadband works for me!
Come on now let's download intarwebs in perfect 'armony!
Coz you got 20 terabytes...
And I got 1.3.
Yar I got a brand new cable modem and broadband works for me.

Life : Devin Townsend

2006-09-21T01:38:00.000Z

My life is all that I've known
And it's all that keeps me here
My time is all that I own
So I won't let it slip away...

How long can this life go on
Who we are what we are...
I'll see you on the other side

Wouldn't you rather live it on your own
Even when it bends you over
So when it comes time to go home
You don't let them fade away...

How long can this all go on?
How long till it's over?
And how long till it all comes down?
...And how bad do we need a new reminder?

.

2006-09-21T01:08:00.000Z

Foodstuffs KAt Bought For The Name Alone # 12

2006-09-13T20:07:00.000Z

"Bikkiepegs".

I admit - I'd have bought them for the name alone, too...

"Bikkiepegs".

I need to have a wee word with my subconscious...

2006-09-08T09:45:00.000Z

Siting here at the PC, and I see the word "Sheep" on screen.

Something in my head goes "Ping!" and I remember what I dreamed last night.

Basically, after seeing a Blog on building a house in the Highlands from scratch ( Which was bloody impressive ) I must have been thinking about it, because last night started off with some shenanigans about Bikuki, Shug and Fallen Nemesis aff the forum trying to warn me that the jelly beans I was about to eat were in fact poisoned.

After thanking them, I went about my way, and met with Kat to go see our new house.

En route, we passed a number of flocks of sheep.
Perfectly normal sheep - Wool, horns, wings, everything you'd normally expect from sheep.
Flyin' around, eatin' the grass.
I found it perfectly normal... Until about two minutes ago when I realised and went "Wait a minute..." :S

Oh, and the other night I was exploring a burned out cinema in my bare feet, alongside most of Bob'z Squad... I had my trusty crowbar, and glass of Red Kola.
:S:S

Fuck booze. Fuck it in the ass.

2006-09-05T14:53:00.000Z

So last weekend, my mate G was meant to be coming over with his wife, some friends, and the friends' little girl.

I rang him to check the arrangements - Turns out he'd been so drunk the night we went out for dinner and made the arrangements, he'd totally forgotten... And because he was working the next day now couldn't be arsed "Coming all the way over to East Kilbride, to only hang out for two or three hours".

Then today, he's meant to be coming to the Clyde Valley shooting club with me and a couple of others. Note : I called in a favour to get him the invite, and had to turn another mate DOWN because he was coming.

Been trying to phone him all day, as the plan was for him to come over a bit early and hang out for a bit.
Guess what?

"Oh man, I've been on the bevvy today. Not a good idea!"

So, once again, the lure of "Getting Fucking Pissed" fucks my plans with someone.

I swear to christ, if booze was made illegal tomorrow, I'd be a happy fucking man.
So sick of so many plans ruined and fights caused because it's far too easy to go from "Just one" to "Just a few" to "I'm not fucking pissed, OK?" to "Whee! I'm drunk!" to "Shwah? Mhuh? FUCKYOOOO!".

Fuck booze.
Fuck it in the ass.

Hard.

What's the sentence for defenestration of a baby?

2006-08-31T16:39:00.000Z

Seriously... Lee's screeching is driving me absolutely insane!

Constant "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Whiny, nails-on-a-blackboard, makes-you-wanna-scream-SHUTTHEFUCKUP!, nothing-at-all-wrong-with-him, changed-fed-tried-everything GAH-ness!

Seriously...
Lee IS Kreepy Ket...

I've been trying to work on an old bike today - Cleaning it, possibly painting it if I can get transfers off, making sure it's safe and the like.

Gave up on that due to every 5 minutes hearing NNNNNGGGGGGGGG! screeeching from the house.

Have managed to get some pictures / clocks up...
But I'm really at snapping point. I'm sick of the sound of it. I do not want to hear it any more. Ever again.

Short of ramming a knitting needle into each ear, though, I don't see what I can really do about the situation.

Bollocks.

Anatomy lesson.

2006-08-30T17:56:00.000Z

ROFL!

"Morgan got plaster! *Points*"
"Yes, Morgan. You scraped your knee, so you have a plaster."
"Morgan wanna plaster on it! *Points elsewhere*"
"*Blinks*
...

... No. That's supposed to be there. Now put your pants on."

Sheesh...

Snoogans.

2006-08-26T21:38:00.000Z

So, what have I been up to?

Saw Snakes On A Plane last Friday.
T'was funny. A guy came into the cinema with rubber snakes. That was amusing.

Saw Kevin Smith at the Edinburgh Festival on Saturday.
Was funnier. I <3 his banter.
"FUCK DVD!"

Sadly, I wanted to go to a wee pizza place Andy showed us a few years back... But we'd met Mandy and the View Askew board folk, and they were for a-wandering... And Kat wanted to talk to Mandy, so Andy ended up leaving, pissed off with the lack of decision making as regards getting something to eat.
Home, phone pizza.

Been a fast week - But we've not done much.
Kat joined the gym, and has been going daily.
It'll be a cold day in hell before you get me in a bloody gym, I'll tell you that much!
Seems to be doing her the world of good, mentally and physically.

I sat all Thursday night, convinced it was Wednesday and planning what to do with my Thursday ( In the middle of repairing all the Airsoft masks and the like, so more of that nonsense, likely ).

7:55am Friday, Kat pokes me.
"Whuhfuh?"

"Shouldn't you be taking Morgan to nursery?"

"It's Thursday."

"Nope."

"Bugger."

And, of course, the 8:30 bus didn't bloody show, and the 4 bus drivers I eventually had to deal with were all pricks.

Had an interview at Maplin last Friday, BTW... Seemed to go pretty well. Again, week's gone by so fast I plumb done and forgot to mention.

Today, Beth and Ernie came round to discuss Airsofty things.
Socially nice as it was, I was very pleased with how the game chat went. I can see us making great progress with the site over the next wee while.

Oh, and Satan's picking icicles off his ass... And Kat looks good in a swimsuit.
I only did her regime, stepped up a few notches. Was fun, though. Also, I've never been in a steam room or a sauna.
Also fun. Specially with Kat in the aforementioned wee black swimsuit.

I dislike stretches though.
Make ya feel like a fanny.

Might join properly, and start going regularly - Depends on Kat's mum babysitting though, and on the Maplin job.
Would be nice to still have some semblance of free time...

Clack... Click...

2006-08-20T00:01:00.000Z

Bang.

It gets better...

2006-08-10T20:03:00.000Z

I just made him up another bottle... No water in the kettle, so I had to boil more.
Then wait for it to cool.

Then give him it.

And, NATURALLY, he did his usual "Turning his head whilst drinking, then screeching when the milk source disappears" stuff.

Then he farted.

A great big long, rippling fart.

Or so I thought.
Then he shifted his weight to the side. So I looked at the edge of his nappy to see if he'd maybe pooped a bit.

Ever seen a yellow shit fountain?

I now have.

Shower time.

:| Not amused. ( Not yet, anyway... )

2006-08-10T18:31:00.000Z

So, Kat just went out to visit her Mum in hospital.

I need to finish an advert for Section 8 to go into the next 3 Max Power magazines.

Morgan's eating dinner, Lee's dozing in the lounge in his car seat.

And then the nightmare begins...

Deadline for this ad is, as far as I know, tomorrow morning.
So I, like, REALLY need to be working on it right now so it's finished and in the right format. Got a few folk helping me out, but I still need to be here tweaking.

So, of course, Morgan appears next to me, face all ketchup, demanding either TV or sweeties... I'm uncertain which.

Then, obviously, Lee starts screaming for no reason.
So hard he GIVES himself a reason, by shitting himself.

So I change Lee... And Morgan resumes her endless repetition of "MorganwanteeeeseeeesMorganwanteeeeseeeesMorganwanteeeeseeeesMorganwanteeeeseeeesMorganwanteeeeseeeesMorganwanteeeeseeees..."

I finally get him finished, and manage to get him sitting on a beanbag, watching TV.
Then I turn to look at Morgan.

"MorganwanteeeeseeeesMorganwan..."
Silence.

Never good.

Puddle.

REALLY never good.

So, I take her pants off, and her skirt, and put them in the wash.
And I tell her to go get a nappy from her room.
She's now in sulk mode, so refuses.

I point out that she's not getting the ham sannitch she asked for if she doesn't.

Morgan is in the habit of sitting on the stairs crying if she's in a huff.
I figured she was doing just that.

Told her "Go get a nappy. NOW!"
"No! No nappy! *Cry*"

After 5 or 6 minutes of this, Lee starts again.
And this isn't crying. It's SCREAMING!

Goes right through you, makes your ears actually hurt.
Tried feeding him, tried changing him... Cuddles, dummy, toys, the lot.

Then I look up.

I see the little arm, up on the ceiling.
I see the little hand, on the end of the little arm.
I see the little finger, on the little hand, on the end of the little arm.

Stuck in the goddamn smoke detector.

So, I go up to remove said finger from said plastic smoke detector.
Pulling does nothing.
I THEN notice the metal mesh just inside the plastic shell of the smoke detector... Morgan's sodding finger is under and past this mesh, so if she pulls, it just sticks harder - Like an old fashioned letterbox.

I should also point out that she's still naked save for a T-shirt at this point, having decnded to investigate the detector en route to her cache of nappies.

So, one ladder-fetching and screwdriver-poking later, and she's out and OK.

Lee's still screaming.

I get a nappy, and put Lee into it.

Then the phone goes.
Then the OTHER phone goes.
Then the door goes...

All three of THOSE dealt with ( Hi Mark, Claire and Claire's Sister. Good to see y'all, even briefly! ), I try to go back to the ad.
Lee's now sitting happily in his car seat once more.

Then the phone goes.
I go to answer it, and all of a sudden, Lee's screaming again.

And Morgan's holding a small plastic monkey.
Another plastic monkey is in Lee's car seat.

And Lee is face down on the floor.

Scenario duly constructed, Morgan duly chastised, Lee duly cuddled and make-sure-he's-OK-ed... I sit down to finish the bloody ad off.

And Lee starts screaming again, while Morgan keeps trying to take my hand off the mouse, and demanding jelly.

If Photoshop crashes now, there will be a killing spree.

Big one.

Cryyyptic...

2006-08-09T14:38:00.000Z

Last post?

Aye - My sister's away travelling the world.
The plan was for her to be away for a year, maybe up to three. New Zealand, via Thailand, Vietnam and other places that good movies tend to be set in.

Thing is... She didn't realise until last week that she'd fallen pregnant right before she left.

Everyone's very happy about it, and it's gonna be amusing playing the "Point out that they can't possibly use THAT name, because of reasons, X, Y and Z" from the other side of the fence this time!

Muahahahaha.

WTF? Wow.

2006-08-08T20:01:00.000Z

I, for one, welcome our new ginger overlords.
:D

Fuck's sake...

2006-08-04T19:27:00.000Z

So, the last I spoke to Mum and David, they were going to come over here for probably around 6, leaving around 7 to go visit Grandad.

For some reason, Mum's not bothered phoning anyone today to keep them posted, so Grandma's been ringing me wondering what the hell's going on.

I'd arranged to meet people just after 7:30 to sort some stuff out for tomorrow and the like, and now when I phone Mum and David ( not having had a call since they told me they'd be coming here straight from evening visiting ) they've now decided to sto pat a café, then are going to pick David's mum up from Maarns, drop her back at Netherlee and THEN they might consider coming up here to get the kids.

As with the UKAN situation - I fucking hate feeling like I'm expected to be eternally grateful for a favour that turns out to be half a favour... Especially when I'm not actually informed when each part of the plan is changed.

They'll be over here now around 9, if I'm lucky.

So much for the meeting.

Oh, and Lee won't stop screaming unless he's on my knee and Morgan's decided not to tell me she needed a piss, so stood in the hall and wet her pants and jeans.

Raging.

Gutted.

2006-08-04T08:30:00.000Z

There's a 20th anniversary screening of Aliens ( Double-featured with Starship Troopers ) down in England in a fortnight.

On a mahooosive outdoor screen.

Can't bloody go :(
Skint, busy, and have already double-booked myself for that weekend by getting tickets to see Kevin Smith do a Q&A in Edinburgh as well as booking a Drymen airsoft game.

Need another excuse to hook up with the troops ( Fuck you, neds, we're taking that term back! WE'RE TAKING IT BACK! ) again.
Specially since my armour's all lovely and painted now. Can't wait to start graffiti-ing it :)

Pulse rifle's coming along slowly but surely.

Pensieves...

2006-08-03T22:33:00.000Z

I have to agree with Vonnie - It'd be great to have a Harry Potter style magic bowl into which you can bung all the shit you don't wanna think about right now but might need to refer to later.

It'd also be good if there was some way to vent without having to assume that your friends are going to listen to your woes and not have a go right back at you.

Ever feel like you're standing on a cliff screaming out to sea?
In my head, I'm like that all the time. I bottle it up way more than is healthy for me, I suspect, but if I let it go I'd start sobbing and not stop until I cried fucking dust.

If things were outright BAD, 100% shite, it'd be better, ironically enough.

It's the feeling of the good stuff throwing the bad into such sharp relief that makes it hurt so much.

I'm getting deja vu here.
I must have felt this way for too long.
I'm on an emotional mobius strip. Keep going long enough, I'll end up back where I started and have moved without changing position.

It's just struck me that I currently must sound like an emo kid.

"LOL".

Oh shit, I forgot to post the good news!

2006-08-03T12:00:00.000Z

September 29th, 2007...
Kat and I are getting married.

Woo!

Booked Eastwood House and The Redhurst Hotel ( I'm heading down to pay the full deposit for the Redhurst tomorrow. )

That aside - The two Airsoft forums that I use have merged.
No huge thing there, as they were run by the same folk. But the owners have passed them on to the old admin team.

Which is a good thing, as the old owner was an arrogant, rude, snide git, who treated users like shit most of the time unless they were his mates.
The general party line was "You're all here on tolerance. You have no rights whatsoever."
Everyone was fine with that until it bit them in the arse...

Anyway, I'm now moving to a third forum, because said old owner started a flamewar in a thread I'd started trying to convince some of my sceptical players that the changeover was a good thing in terms of software and staff.
The guy kept harping on, claiming I had some sort of vendetta.
Couldn't get it through his head that it's possible to be grateful for something, yet still feel that it wasn't done 100% correctly.

And, obviously, I'm a shitbag because I never said anything while he was in charge.

No, I didn't. Because I knew fine well I'd have been banned.

I hate bullies.
And that's exactly what Fluffy is. An arrogant, self-righteous bully.

THAT aside, it's Morgan's birthday on Friday and we were gonna hit the Playbarn on Sat afternoon.
We'd kinda decided that it was likely gonna be too mobbed anyway, when I got a call ( Whilst poking fish at the Sea Life Centre at Lomond Shores ) asking if I could run an airsoft stag do on Saturday as the guys originally meant to do it had had to cancel.

Turned the dude down, and pointed him at CQB Scotland and The Fort, but he couldn't get hold of them, so I'm doing it.

I know I keep saying I'd love for business to pick up to the extent I can run airsoft games at least once a week, but right NOW it's too damn hectic!
Bad timing. Should be a fun game though.

Meeeeeeh...

2006-07-21T21:19:00.000Z

It's too hot.

Grandad's in hospital, and his marbles come and go like the tide.

Lee's screaming loads - To the extent we had him down at the doctor's after he started the other weekend, and WOULD. NOT. STOP.
No idea what it was.

Morgan's misbehaving quite a bit - Hopefully just due to HER being tired / too hot.

I had ( Hopefully it's gone ) a problem with my ear... Mucous buildup in the drum, aggravated by loud, high-pitched noises. ( See Item # 3. )

Airsofting's going not bad, but I've reached breaking point, stress wise.
My old marshals are showing no signs of being available any time soon, and I've realised that I cannot run things alone, or with just Ernie, any more.
So I need at least two more marshalls whom I can trust - Who have the right balance of experience, diplomacy and temperament between them.
I also need to finalise insurance, and pay all sorts of fees about that.
I hope that the turnout continues to be passable - If so, then the next item will be much less stressful:

There is some good news - I'll post about that in an entry on it's own though. It's kinda big.

Fuckign raging, here. Again.

2006-06-25T00:00:00.000Z

Some piece of shit has kicked off one of the sections of our fence, and stolen the For Sale sign from up the road before throwing it into our garden.

Fucking lucky I wasn't in.

Scum.

Shit like that need fucking put down.

"But there's nothing for them to do, it's not their fault, they just need to be loved.."
FUCK YOU!
Say that when it's your life they keep picking away at, ruining bit after bit after bit...

Sheer fucking filth, and I'll happily lump anyone that defends them in WITH them.
Sick of this shit. Sick and tired to the fucking bone of having to have OUR lives constantly made worse by scum that couldn't care less.
I WAS having a great night, too.

On The Ready Line # 2.1

2006-06-22T14:46:00.000Z

What else happened on Saturday, then?

Well, my worries that I might miss Harry, Al Matthews' and Terry English's Q&A due to being needed elsewhere proved unfounded.
We were asked to provide an honour guard, and march them in.
Woo!

Of course, my left knee chose the very moment I entered the room to go "Nuh uh!" and fail to support me.
Leaving the marine who was meant to be walking in formation with me ( Mantroon or Bazfish, I forget which. Will check the video later ;) ) to wonder where the hell I;d gone!
Caught up not too badly, and got into position against the wall.

Had a few moments of Fraz saying "Take a seat!" and me attempting to silently convey the message "My knee's goosed!".
I knew if I could bend my knee sharply, and "crack" it, it'd feel fine.
Not gonna happen when you're wearing leg armour!

The stories told during the Q&A were hilarious - I'll put them in seperate entries.
Here's the photo we got at the end of the Saturday session...

On The Ready Line # 2

2006-06-22T13:50:00.000Z

Revielle.
*Grin*

"Christ, you guys better hope there are no shipping lanes nearby!"
Must have been the chinese food the night before.

Up, showered, and down to the restaurant for breakfast.
Scrambled eggs alá tabasco sauce, bacon, sausage, mushrooms.
That'll do me!

Then off to the Space Centre for Day One of the actual event.

We arrived pretty early - We weren't going to be part of the actual Encounter on Saturday anyway, but still wanted to make a good impression.
Got in, and the greenroom was already quite busy.

It's something of a bizarre sight to see a room full of half-dressed predators, marines trying to find a way to shuck into their armour and get that pesky strap to hang where it should and still keep some dignity. ( Bloody motion tracker sling! :( ).

We found Terry English moving his stuff inside, so helped him fetch and carry, before Fraz and I went off to get into our gear.

Sandy hung out and helped Terry set up his stall - Ended up getting some free prints as a thank you, and I think we all made a friend of Mr English that day.

Appropriately suited and booted ( Note : When you're gonna be standing around for ~10 hours, with the odd bout of running, canon be damned, Magnums are COMFY! I'll be keeping my cheapo replica jungle boots for the mannequin, I think. Just gotta find me a mannequin is all. ) Fraz and I headed in to get our weapons checked.

"Yeah, I'm checking weapons" says Kev... "It's not just an excuse to play with everyone's toys at all!" :)

Our duties for the day were pretty much "Wander around, stay in character as much as possible, and pose for photos".
Easy :)

I was somewhat nervous at first - For a start, the only folk who I knew there were Fraz and Sandy.
But the other marines seemed very cool - Approachable and friendly to a man, and many feeling the same way as I was, it later transpired.

One person I'd been looking forward to meeting was Harry Harris, of the Harry Harris Aliens Archive.
This man has a quite frankly stunning collection of original props, and is one of the nicest and friendliest folk I've had the pleasure to meet.
Here's his "modest collection":

I apologise in advance if I get any events mixed up - The whole weekend kinda ran into one, as we stayed up so late on Saturday night and were up again so early on Sunday.
Don't bother correcting me if any of you read this and something at the Space Centre happened on the other day to when I say :p

Publishing now, so this is less of a gargantuan post...

On The Ready Line # 1.5

2006-06-22T13:39:00.000Z

I forgot to mention a few things in my previous post:

1. I hate cashpoints, and idiot hotel staff.

I forgot to get money from the free cashpoint at the Space Centre, so had to use the one in the hotel lobby.
£1.75 the bugger wanted for a withdrawal! And took about 5 minutes to actually process it!
Bit of a cockup there, as I'd managed to get two lads playing Aliens confused. One had offered to let us bunk with him, and when the Marine we ended up sharing with mentioned on the way down that "Bugz" had pulled out, I thought he meant "Pug".
Only after I'd checked in did I get a text from Pug asking if we were still sharing a room with him.
Oops :| Sorry dude!

Next up, the deposits. Turned out Darren had been misinformed as to what needed paying when, so we needed to stup up the entire weekend's funds up front.
Not TOO bad - £24 per night I think it worked out at. Ish.

Fraz ponied up for me, and I sorted him out later on.
It's handy to be able to trade free games and ammo for such things as petrol and hotel rooms ;)

I hadn't registered the fact that the room only had 2 double beds, either... And much as Darren's a big sexy Ben Affleck lookalike, I was still quite pleased that I ended up getting a cot bed sent to the room.
Right next to the aircon - And by christ did we need it!

Tough choice - Noisy aircon or quiet oven?
I woke up around 4am, actually COLD, so turned it off.

Then went back to sleep.
Mmm. Sleep.

On the ready line!

2006-06-19T13:22:00.000Z

Apologies in advance for the length of this entry - It's gonna be a big one, as this weekend was one in a million.

United Kingdom Colonial Marine Corps
Combat Drop : Leicester, 2006.

We've been preparing for this event for months now.
Ever since word came down the pipe that a Colonial Marine presence would be required to deal with a xenomorph infest ation at the National Space Centre's Sci Fi weekend in June, marines all over the UK have been rushing to complete work on their armour and armaments.
Myself included.

Myself, Fraz ( Jedifraz ) and Sandy ( Bmused ) hooked up early on Friday morning for the ~6hr drive to Leicester.
A quick stop at the quartermaster's stores ( Lidl ) for some rations, and we were on our way.
Express elevator to hell. Goin down!

The journey down wasn't bad - Nice weather, good tunes... We made it to the dropzone by around 5:30pm.
Helped a little with the setup, and met the other grunts.

9pmish, and we checked in at the hotel before descending en masse upon a local noodle bar - Where we sampled the delights of Foo Kin Fried Rice.
No corn bread, sadly.

The shit was already being well and truly shot by this point - "Hey, Bishop - Do the thing with the spoon/chopstick/fork" games possibly making the staff wince at the potential for damage to their tables.
All hands refrained from engaging fully, however.

I turned round midway through my meal to see who'd just nudged me as they sat down.

The Sarge had arrived.
Al Matthews - Real life marine, and in all honesty one of the most entertaining people I've met in my life.
He also happened to play Sgt Apone in "Aliens", therefore was our guest of honour for the weekend.

I didn't really get a chance to speak to him on Friday night, but even in the noodle bar, the atmosphere was becoming less like a bunch of geeks playing dress-up with folk they barely know by the minute.
Folk were realising that, unlike Star Wars events where your character is your costume... This time, the characters were us.

I think for most of us, the "Me" dial got turned up to 11. Loud guys got louder, funny guys got funnier.
The camaraderie was real.

Back to the hotel for drinks, before the actual first day of the event, and it was announced that this was the inaugural combat drop of the United Kingdom Colonial Marine Corps... Therefore we all needed our rank patches.
Everyone got a private chevron - Except Harry Harris of the Harry Harris Aliens Collection.
As the man with the single biggest collection of screen-used props and costumes in the UK ( More on that later ;) ), he was duly promoted to be our 4-star General.

Al : "Excuse me. Excuse ME! How the fuck do you outrank ME?"

And a hush fell across the room.

Bruce / Bazfish exhibited balls of steel when he looked the Sarge in the eye, and told him:

"How the fuck do you outrank me... /sir/?"

And he said it, too.
Taking due care and attention to pronounce the word "sir" correctly, and in the voice of a little girl.

More later...

Ooyah!

2006-06-10T19:40:00.000Z

Airsofting at Drymen today.

I've probably said this before, but I feel so sorry for the poor buggers out in Iraq!
If one nice day in a sandpit in Scotland can leave this tired, sore and burnt... They must be in hell.

Good day's play, though, and I joined in at the end for a few games.

Pissed off right now, though, as Kat has been waiting in town for a bus now for over half an hour.

Apparently she was waiting at Edwards pub from just after 8pm, and has now moved down to Union Street.
It's currently 8:38pm, and I'm told that no bus has shown up yet.

There should be TWO services running right now, roughly every 15 minutes ( Three if you count the 20, which takes a while to get here so we usually ignore ).
Sick to the back teeth of this happening whenever Kat's out in town.
Firstbus are arseholes, who really need a good kick up the arse. Specially since they're withdrawing the through-the-week nightbus services soon, too...

Uuuuuuupdates.

2006-06-07T10:11:00.000Z

Well, HOPEFULLy the problem with the neighbours is resolved.
Or at least swept under the carpet.

The day after the incident, I saw my neighbour in the lane.
Asked if I could have a word - HE started having a go at ME for having the audacity to ask him to turn down his loud music at close to midnight.

His reasoning was that he can't choose what nghts he has off, and if he wants to have a party, he will.

I explained again that I didn't really care what he did early in the evening, but after about 11 at night, loud music was keeping my kids awake and therefore not really on, if he didn't mind.

A few more rants at me later, he finally seemed to accept that turning his bass down would be a good thing.

Hopefully it's forgotten, and the next time he has a party, he'll have some maturity and keep the music down when it gets late.

That aside, it's been weird of late.
Grandma and Grandad were meant to be going on a cruise with Mum and David.
Sadly, Grandad developed a blood clot in his leg JUST before they were due to fly down to Palma to meet the boat.
So he's currently under observation in the Southern General.
My sister got taken into hospital herself, with a stomach infection. She's OK now, but that was a worry - as SHE'S due to fly out to (eventually)Australia next week.

There has been some good news!

I told my mate Gofur that I couldn't attend his and Gemma's wedding, as I'd already RSVP'd to Marri and Zaz that I'd go to theirs on the same day ( Yestrday. 666 - Geddit? :) )

So Kat and I got to Park Circus just about on time - 15 minutes before the booking.
There was already a crowd outside, so we figured it might be Z&M's lot about to go in ( Don't know any of either family, aside from a mother and a cousin ).

Nuht.

Turned out it was Gofur and Gemma's wedding coming OUT!
The look on Gofe's face when he clocked me - "You made it after all!" Then when I had to shrug apologetically as I headed upstairs - "No man, sorry. I didn't."

Managed to catch them outside after Z&M's ceremony though, so t'was all good.

Marri looked great... Gemma looked great... And Kat looked great.
Verily, t'was a veritable swatch-fest.
I'd only bought undies for one of the three ladies mentioned above, though.

Which was fun - it was ROASTING the other day when I went down to the centre.
no air in the main mall at all.
The bank was as stuffy as ever...
So when I got to La Senza, out of breath, and sweating... "Can I have a bra and some stockings, please?"

I thought security were about to make an appearance!

So after the ceremonies, we headed down to Malmaison for the reception.
Small room, but I know how Zaz and Marri WANTED the wedding to be. It could have been smaller.

Lovely buffet, NO FUCKING CIDER AT THE BAR though.
And overall, incident free.

Zaz's mum was making the odd bitchy comment aimed at Marri, as well as coming out with "At the end of the day, they did things the way THEY wanted."

Which Marri was kinda pissed off about when she heard, as they bloody well did not.
The original intention was for it to be FAR smaller, but certain parties insisted and pressurised and interfered to make it as big as it was.

As I say though, it WAS fun, and I think Z&M were OK with the eventual compromise, knowing that the alternative was all-out war.

Headed back over to their place once we FINALLY got rid of the mother of the groom, and hung out eating chinese.

Met a fluffy cat, a pee-ey cat, and a snake.
Woo.

Came home, found Kat's mum in slightly better humour than we'd left her ( Her nose was out of joint because my sister - Who's leaving for A FEW YEARS soon - had looked after Morgan, and "It's just wrong that she's over there so much... She'll be thinking it's her house".
Aye, baws. She's there once a week. fuck off. )

And there's probably an assload I've missed out, but meh... Kat just gave me carrot cake.

Mm.

Mnfgl, mnchng ck bk ltr.

Great. This is all we fucking need.

2006-05-14T22:57:00.000Z

Since the back of ten, next door have been playing thumping, bassy music.
Morgan's been up twice because of it.

Come 11:45, I gave the guy a phone.

Got his wife - Told her "Sorry to be a spoilsport, but your music's keeping Morgan awake. Any chance you could turn it down, please?"

She passed it to her husband... I told him the same.

"It wisnae that when you were having music blaring out the back the other night.", he said... As someone in the background screamed "Who the fuck is it? Tell him ah'll play music if ah fuckin' wahnt. Tell him tae piss off."

Then he hung up.

A: I've never played music LOUDLY out the back. The loudest it was was during the DAY when I was painting the fence, and even then it was reasonable.

B: Even if we had music on in the evening, it was quiet... And off before about 11pm.

C: And we certainly never had it playing on a Sunday night.

I sincerely hope that this is a one-off, and it's someone's birthday or something, so they're all just a bit pissed.
The husband and wife seem alright ( No idea who the idiot shouting and swearing in the background was ).

If not...
Man, I so can't be fucked with next door neighbours I don't get on with, again.

Had to go through way too much of that shit... I don't think I could handle that again AND Morgan misbehaving AND Lee screeching the place down all the time.

Gahfuck.

WTF?

2006-05-12T23:36:00.000Z

Just as I put up that last post, I heard Morgan crying upstairs.
Went up, she was coming into the hall from Lee's room ( Where I'm crashing if I have stuff to do the next morning and Lee's being noisy ).
She was looking for me, poor wee thing.

"Mohgeen bad dweem in Mohgeen bed!"

Bad dreams? What about?

"Scawy dweems!"

Why were they scary?

"Bogey monstah!"

Umm... OK.
So she's got her magic fairy wand, and my torch-that-looks-like-a-lightsaber.

A veritable arsenal of bad-dream-defeating weaponry.
Combine that with lots of hugs from Mummy and Daddy, and a bikkit, and you're pretty much invulnerable.

WOOO! NINTENDO DEE ESS!

2006-05-12T23:22:00.000Z

This was me, just after midnight tonight:

The little green package I'd thought to be a DVD box set turned out to in fact be a Nintendo D.S.

Kat and Dave are sneaky people. Been laughing at me, for going "Ooh! DVD box set? Wonder what it is!".

Yay-ness. Happy Birthday to me!

Kat rocks.

That was the trailer...

2006-05-04T20:44:00.000Z

The feature presentation just kicked it's ARSE.

Best thunderstorm I've seen for YEARS.

Woo! Thunder!

2006-05-04T19:27:00.000Z

Just got back from the shops, and as I got to the end of the street, a pretty decent thunderstorm kicked off.
Not as long as I'd have liked, but a few good forks.

Took Morgan into the garden to watch the start, then we went upstairs to watch the end once the rain kicked in.

"Wottsat noise daddy?"
"What do you think it was Morgan?"
"SCAYWAY MONSTA!"

*Grin*

Oohhhhhhh no... Oh, shit no...

2006-04-29T03:16:00.000Z

*Muffled Sobs*

*Creeeeak...*
You OK?

*Sobbitty sob*

Watch your eyes...
*Clickbuzzzz...*

*Sob sniff sob*

Oh bugger.
No...
Not again!

*Sniff sniff sob*

*Sniff sniff*
Huh?
...
*Poke*
*Sniff*
*...Taste*
Oh, thank god.
...
Chocolate.
...
*Clean*
*Dry*
*Dress*
*Retuckin*

Meeeeeeeeeeeh...

2006-04-25T18:50:00.000Z

S'been an interesting week.
Am bloody shattered, still - And Kat's exponentially tiredererer. :(

Mum's been over quite a few times, so we've been working on getting the downstairs bog finished off ( Painted, patched and the like. )
Got some new mirrors for it too, so it looks OK.

While it's good to have the assistance, it's driving me INSANE the way she turns up, and expects me to drop everything, and do what she wants NOW!

For example - She'll arrive here, and go straight into the kitchen.
Usually, the dishwasher is finished its cycle by the time she gets here ( I either put it on last thing at night, or if I'm taking Morgan to nursery, again first thing in the morning )
So she'll give it "Why am I putting all your dishes away and refilling your dishwasher for you when YOU should be doing it?"

Our Survey Says:
Because I'm bloody well trying to not only get the management at the Arches to get their collective fingers out and give The Pit the support it needs if it's not going to fall flat on its face ( This includes NOT double booking us with the theatre, and getting proper advertising done, as well as ensuring that our prices and opening times match the Cathouse... People WILL go for the easy option. ), but I'm also currently dealing with the fact that both lots of rifles I previously had access to for Section 8 days are now no longer available and I therefore need to acquire 20 guns by the end of the month.
On top of that, I have to renew the insurance, send off and reply to emails regarding the possibility of us acquiring the use of not one but two CQB sites ( One in Glasgow city centre! ), and an ISLAND!
So that's all good.

Then there's the physical work needing done on the Shotts site.
We've gotten a lot done in the last few months, but it's been backbreaking work.
Worth it in the end, as all the players are loving it - Preferring the new layout to when we had the use of the farm in some cases!

The most recent bug in the ointment there is the fact that we now have some local horse riders claiming right of way through the site.
"Legally, you can't stop us coming through here."

"Perhaps not, but if you want a BB in the eye, feel free to go through without goggles."

So I now need to make up some BIG signs so our asses are covered there.
Well, so MY ass is covered.

As you can imagine, when I'm trying to deal with that, and I've got Mum screeching "Get off that bloody computer!" in my ear, I'm beginning to get slightly pissed off.
As I pointed out to her - This is my JOB.
I don't send these mails, talk to these people, and even simply stay in touch with players through MSN and the S8 forum... I make no cash and she gets no rent.

She fails to see that an MSN conversation is pretty much the same as a phone call, and I can't just stand up and stop talking.

She also doesn't get that, although that's the case, it sometimes takes a few moments for someone to reply... therefore I'll fill that time by reading the Airsoft forums and keeping up to date with what's going on THERE.

Then there's Mr Dixon, our landowner.

He's happy to ACCEPT email, but won't reply to it except by a printed letter.

U.T.K.R.
[/homer]

If all goes to plan, things will have settled down nicely by mid summer.
I've organised a replacement armoury, and once the new insurance is nailed, I should have access to a few more sites. Can't go into that in much more detail the now - Suffice to say there are some very exciting prospects on the horizon.

Just gotta stick it out and not kill Mum in the meantime.

As for Lee - He's doing OK. We THOUGHT he'd settled down a bit the other night, but he's back on form with the crying during the night shit again.
And he's got a swollen gland or something under one nipple. Doc reckons it's probably nothing to worry about, so we just have to keep an eye on it.
It's not causing him pain or anything, but it's one more thing on the list of things on Kat's and my minds.

Dave's coming over tomorrow, to take Kat to the pub.
hopefully that'll cheer her up a bit :)

Hey, mate... You've got crows!

2006-04-17T15:53:00.000Z

Meh.
Little feathery bastards have been going into our loft through a hole in the wood at the eaves, and nicking polystyrene beads from the old cavity insulation.
I never noticed said hole before, because said insulation was blocking it - One of the neighbours pointed it out from the outside, and thusly explained the odd noises we've been hearing of late.

Being up a 20 foot ladder, with a drill in one hand, a doddawid in the other, a bag of screws in your mouth
and a screwdriver bit behind one ear is NOT fun.
Specially not when the wind kicks up and a bloody HAILSTORM erupts just as you reach halfway...

:|

*Tea*

Man...

2006-04-09T21:43:00.000Z

Trey Parker and Matt Stone should think themselves lucky nobody on Altnation has their phone numbers...

Fuck you. All of you.

2006-04-08T23:32:00.000Z

I've been banned from Alternativenation for seven days, because in a thread started by some prick copy and pasting Islamic propaganda spam I called him out, along with a few others - And when he got nasty to them... Telling them they should die for not believing in Allah, and having a go at the Danish... Someone asked what the Danish had done to him.
I responded with a copy of one of the Danish newspaper cartoons.

A short debate later, it was decided that I was out of order, therefore should be banned.
Fuck that, for a start.

Then, at ten to fucking midnight, I get 6 texts making Allah jokes...
[NUMBERS EDITED SO NOBODY DECIDED TO TIT FOR TWAT THEM]

I texted Marc back, and explained to him WHY I was so unamused by this.
6 day old babies do not appreciate being woken - And parents REALLY do not appreciate being woken along with them when it's already taken hours to get them to sleep, and none of us have had more than an hour or two in the past week!

So, you guys named above...

Fuck you.
Especially the coward who PHONED me to yell "Requiem" at me.

Arseholes.

It didn't.

2006-04-06T23:40:00.000Z

Five minutes later, he was born.

Good job I didn't need to poop!

Daemonic...

2006-04-06T23:29:00.000Z

We arrived around 9pm, I think...
Kat had an examination, and was told that there was a HEEYOOWAGE sac of water ( Why is the word "Sack" fine, but the word "Sac" is inherently disturbing? :S )
between Lee's head and the preferred method of exit.
If that burst while his head was as far up as it was, the waters could have sooked the placenta out with them and caused a prolapse. VERY not good.

So Kat, instead of heading to the Midwife Led Unit, had to stay in the Labour Ward.

We hooked up our purloined portable DVD player, and started watching Shaun Of The Dead.

Menfolk - SAFETY TIP:
If your woman is in labour, do not under any circumstances go "Dubbudubbudubbududduddubah-dub..." immediately before she groans, with a repetition once she finishes.

She WILL notice what you just did, and elbow you HARD in the ribs, even if you ARE just at that bit in the movie and weren't taking the piss at all, honest, the timing of the moan was just sheer coincidence and anyway it would have been funny and helped to take her mind off it all.

We got half an hour in, before being moved to another room... This one with blood on the ceiling and a machine that went "BING!".

Here we stayed, while Kat had another internal examination or two.
By this time, it was really hurting her, and I was having to try to summon the courage to tell her to go easy on the gas and air.

Phear.

Frivolity aside, it really REALLY sucks to see someone you love have to endure such horrific-looking pain, and know that there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Anyway, the midwife commented to her assistant, about half past midnight, that nothing was happening and that the only thing to do was keep her under observation for the next 4 hours.

Yeah.
4 hours.

Lee must have heard her- because less than five seconds later someone managed to throw a water bomb through the closed,
fifth-floor window of the room we were in.
It exploded all over the bed, under where Kat was perched on all fours.

Seriously. "Eew".
If I were to try to describe it using the magic of onomatopoeia, I would write "SPLGRGHOOSHHHHH!"

"I take it that that means your 'four hours' comment goes out the window then?"

"Out the window? I'd say so. Yeah."

"Same way that water bomb came in?"

"What are you talking about you big big freak?"

"Nothing. Don't mind me..."

I pointed out that my bladder was somewhat full, and I went for a pee so I wouldn't be caught short if the next stage were to end up lasting for hours...

So... The Newbie!

2006-04-06T23:21:00.000Z

Currently, I'm applying Savlon to my eardrums, as Lee started screeching about an hour ago, and has barely stopped.
Kat's all out of Katjuice, so she's had to get her mum to take her to the bloody Asda at Hamilton ( Going by the amount of time she's been gone ) to get some emergency formula!

I've just managed to get Lee to nod off, with a little bit of carseatrockerry, and Tori Amos...
*Makes note*

Might as well post up the
Birth Story, then :)

So...
Kat was due to go be induced on Tuesday ( April 4th ) as Lee was getting so big she was REALLY feeling pain a lot of the time. She was on crutches and had a support belt for SPD, but even they weren't doing much good.

T'was Sunday the 2nd, and I headed out to Section8 Allanton to build some fortifications.
We'd arranged to have a few folk over that night to watch Wrestlemania.

By the hospital's dates, Kat was due on the 7th.
By the dates Kat worked out herself, she was a week over.

Morgan was born exactly a week late.

So, I get a text around lunchtime telling me that Kat's plug has gone ( This does NOT mean that she accidentally ran her bath away while she was in it. The real meaning is considerably more gross... But if you can read this, you have access to Google. So Google it. NOT the image search, if you're eating. )
She told me not to panic, though, as it can be hours or even days after the plug goes before the waters break and full labour ensues.

I head home around 5pm, and Irv texts me to let me know he'll be up around 7.
He actually arrived a bit early, got a lift from his Mum ( Who misunderstood the plug thing when I mentioned it to her. Heehee :) )

Hung out for a half hour or so, with Kat bouncing on her gym ball.
She eventually told us that no, she was NOT gonna last til after Mania and we should get ready to hed to the hospital.
( Of course, everyone was still welcome to watch Mania at our place, but Irv chose to head off, and Semp and Snap watched it at their own places or neighbours' ).

Off to the Princess Royal it was, then...

In the memetime...

2006-04-04T19:38:00.000Z

Here's this, from Orev's blog:

Comment and...

1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST.

01:02 03/04/06

2006-04-04T19:37:00.000Z

... And I'm a Dad for the second time.
WOO!

Will put up a full Blog entry about Lee's birth as soon as I've had time to collect my thoughts, and actually sit and write it!

Poke GET OUT!

2006-03-27T11:51:00.000Z

Just back from the medical centre...
Kat's being induced next Tuesday at 8:30am.

So, grapple fans, WWE Wrestlemania is now definitely ON at our place, Sunday night, bring some Bru.

And then we might think about having a son...

Grr. House rage!

2006-03-17T18:58:00.000Z

Absolutely pissed off, here.

Mum and David came over today, nominally to help put up the bridging units that go over our bed between the wardrobes.

Before that, though, I was pretty much forced to shift 2 metal drawer cabinets from the hall to the shed.
Now, true, they were grey and not-very-nice-looking... But I intended all along to take them out in summer and spray them matt black, and repaint the chrome handles.
They not only had paperwork in them, but some little model parts and happened to be exactly the right height for the mounts I have my Alien Resurrection vest and my Emperor's Guard helmet on to sit atop.

But no... She played the fucking "When you OWN this house, you can do what you like. Right now, you do as we say."

Which...
And let me make absolutely clear how heartfelt and strong this emotion is through use of fonts...

REALLY FUCKING PISSES ME OFF!

Problem with the loft? "We're just intermediaries between you and the mortgage, we're not your landlords. You can pay for it if you want it fixed."
Something we want to do that Mum doesn't? "We're your landlords and what we say goes."

Then she moved on to the slat-board I'd bought for the hall - My intention being to find a nice small piece of beech slatboard, to mount my sabers, and some of my smaller prop replicas onto.

"That's not going in the hall. Get rid of it. Put your lightsabers in your shed, or in the loft."

Once again, NO respect for other people's wishes or taste.

If it was a china statue of a brown fucking eskimo, or some blue and grey spanish bint with an umbrella she'd have no problem with it.

Then we get to the actual bridging unit.

I have told her time, time, and time again that the curtain rail in the bedroom means that the wardeobes would have to go hard left against the wall adjoining Morgan's room if we're gonna fit the bridge in.
What did she do?

She got David to drill the holes for the mounting points using the CURRENT position of the left wardrobe as a baseline... A good inch out from the wall, thereby totally buggering up the entire plan.
I now have to move my curtain rail UP by about a foot, and cut it short so it doesn;t extend over the top of the wardrobe.

My glass display cases, from next to the front door, have been moved to beside my desk and overall I'm fucked off at being dictated to in my own home.

I DO appreciate what they've done for us. We ARE lucky to HAVE this place.

But it's Kat and me that live here, NOT them.
It should be US that make the decisions about what goes where - Save for when we want to do something that will irrevocably alter the fabric of the house.

A few small screw holes in a plaster wall that I filled and painted ANYWAY do not come under that heading.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Kat's raging too.
I don't think she cares about my sabers, but Morgan was up all last night and Kat's been unable to grab a bloody nap today because what SHOULD have been a short easy job ended up taking from just after lunchtime til after 6:30 in the evening.

And, of course, when Morgan came back from nursery, she was in a foul mood and went into one of her screeching tantrums.

She's eating her tea now, and Kat's on the phone to her Mum.

Fuckittyfuckittyfuckittyfuck.

Sigh

2006-03-14T18:41:00.000Z

I wish I had some hot chocolate and marshmallows...
*looks around*

[/cunning]

Meh.

2006-03-11T13:08:00.000Z

I hate when friends fuck friends over.
Glad I have an X-Box.

Ever have one of those days?

2006-03-08T22:16:00.000Z

Well, two days, given that yesterday sucked too...

Today we were due to head down for Kat's ante-natal appointment at Rutherglen Maternity Clinic.
That went OK... Woke up around 9am with Morgan clambering up onto the bed - But the poor wee bugger was so tired she passed out at our feet!
Hauled her up to pillow level, and nodded back off for a bit.

Got up, went down to Rutherglen.

Next, off to Tesco for some new duvets for our new bed. Our new 7' X 6' bed ( that took me and Zaz bloody AGES to get into the room. This fact bears repeating, as I'm well chuffed we managed it. )

Ended up doing a full shop.
Ooh! I just remembered - We have scones and clotted cream, or mayhap a Gooseberry Fool for dessert. Woo.

Then down to my aunt and uncle's opticians.
Sadly, they'd gone on a last-minute ski-ing holiday, and forgot to leave a price for my specs! ( Needless to say, I'm gonna be dropping off some chocolates as a wee thank you for the discount. )
'Mon the Nike Flexxon spectos. WELL comfy, and they look neat.
Getting them next Wednesday, and I've got some new daily contacts to test out.
I only WEAR them when airsofting or dancing, so they should last a while.

Wandered round the Shawlands shops for a bit waiting for Kat and Morgan to come back with KAt's mum... Then off to Homebase.
Snagged some reading lights, and on the way home got a call from Mum.

Seems David had opened Kat's mail again, and found a final demand from O2.
Phoned them once we got home, and found that when Kat called them to see if they'd gotten her "I want to cancel my monthly contract" letter... And told them in the same call that as the phone had been stolen, the point was moot... The ARSEHOLE at the call centre had neglected to tell her that even though she barred the phone as being stolen, unless she specifically told them to cancel her contract, she'd be paying a monthly tarriff.
Logical FUCK ALL!

So, a call to Disconnections is in order tomorrow, I think.

Anyway, I've skipped ahead... I mentioned that I rang O2 once we got home?

Well, THAT was an adventure!

We have nice thick UPVC doors. You know the kind.
They should NOT be able to be locked from the outside if there's a key on the inside.

You can see where this is going.

Turns out they CAN.

Neither of our neighbours that we know had any wire, ir thin enough screwdrivers.
Alan next door DID have a big fuckoff ladder, though.
And I HAD left the bedroom window open to air the room. ( The alarm was on, so worry not. )

Seems that it IS possible to move the handle on those windows from "Lean" mode to "Swing" mode, while the window is in "Lean" mode.

Thank christ!

So, Scapey ascends the ladder, scrapes the crtap outta his arm, legs it downstairs to turn the alarm off, and finally lets Kat and Morgan into the house.

Then Mark came round to help me set up my X-box as a media centre.

Joiner came round to quote us for flooring the loft ( Which, it seems, WON'T be able to be paid for by adding a little bit to the mortgage. I got the impression from Mum that it COULD be covered, since we want to do it PROPERLY. So I gotta raise just under £300 by Saturday. )

I incinerated the spuds, as I was in the loft, and Kat and Mark didn't smell 'em boiling dry.

Then I ate fish, spuds, and sprouts.

And now I'm blogging.

New duvet trials begin soon.
Woo.

Why the FUCK...

2006-03-04T11:40:00.000Z

... Does the phone/TV/internet always go down on a Friday or Saturday, leaving you without said service for the entire goddamn weekend?

No phone for us, then, til Monday...

Gah. Buggered phone.

2006-03-01T20:51:00.000Z

Looks like I missed more texts than I thought - I just rebooted my phone and got about 12 from over the last few days.

Kat's alright, just tired and a bit ill feeling.

Gotta go - We made the mistake of letting Morgan have a chocolate muffin for dessert... STOP!

Hoover time.

FAO anyone who's been texting us over the last day or two:

2006-02-28T11:35:00.000Z

Apologies for not getting back to you yet. We've been absolutely shattered, and grabbing sleep when we can... And in the process, forgetting to reply to a few texts.

Kat's in the maternity hospital just now, but it's because she had to go in at 9am this morning for observation, as she had to go to Hairmyres at 6am this morning due to feeling unbelievably sick and "stuff".

I'm waiting to hear back from her - It's a viral infection of some sort, not TOO serious, but enough to warrant them keeping an eye on her for a few hours.

TEH ECKS BOCKS AM H00J!!11one

2006-02-24T20:41:00.000Z

Snagged an X-Box today.
Yay!

Swapped it for an AK-Spetsnaz.

Got:

X-Box
2 controllers
Headset
Battlefront II
Destroy All Humans
Rainbow Six 3
Ghost Recon : Summit Assault

Woo!

Perpetual Biddymotion...

2006-02-20T18:56:00.000Z

I know, I know...
I'll be back with a proper update when I have time!

For now - GAH!
Went to pick Morgan up today from nursery, and during the period between 17:20 and 17:52 that I waited for the 17:35 bus thta's due every 15 minutes
, no less than SIX of the buggers arrived travelling in the other direction.
The thing is, the two wee old biddies sat next to me completely ignored me when I told them the first time they stood up that the bus was the wrong one - So I got to sit and watch as every single 66 that came into the turning circle had them "leap" to their feet, shuffle forward to peer at the text on it's sign, before shuffling backwards to their seats when it turned out to be another wrong'n.
By the time they sat down the next bus was in sight.

Amusing, in a "For the love of god, I'm bored" sort of way...

Off to Good Gwanny's. Yay Turkey.

2006-01-14T17:12:00.000Z

Got picked up by my sister, and vroomed off t0 Mum's for Xmas dinner.

Morgan opened loads more presents, we ate lots of turkey and weenie wee sausages, and Grandad fell asleep with a glass of brandy in his hand.

Someone got a keyring that supposedly beeped when you whistled at it... It beeped at everything but.

I got the Broons and Broons/Oor Wullie books, Star Wars DVDs and books, the Wizard Of Oz uber-edition DVD, socks, and a promise of an Ikea glass display case ( Which is now in the hall :) )

I got Kat a shiny big 4-slice toaster, an MP3 player and the Invader Zim house DVD box set.

Amusingly, the order of stuff I'd ORIGINALLY placed for Kat's Xmas but got cancelled ( I thought ) seemed to have only been delayed due to my change of credit-card invoice address being held up for some reason.
So Kat ALSO got a pillow shaped like a Wonka bar, a vibrating head massager, a Living Dead Doll and something else I forget right now.

Not much else to report really. It was a great Xmas afternoon, with no fights and plenty of food and giftage.
Morgan had a great time, due to not being ill. She helped open everyone's presents, and actually understood when a gift wasn't for her... She helped open it then handed it to the person she was assisting.

She rocks.

So... PRESENTS!

2006-01-14T17:04:00.000Z

Upon finally getting up properly, we went downstairs to begin what's pretty much been Morgan's first proper Xmas morning.

It was worth the wait :)

Obviously, the kitchen didn't take much opening - Being festooned in tinsel, rather than actually wrapped. ( Yes, that WAS just an excuse to use the word "Festooned". It's a good word. Deal with it. )

Also in the pile were loads of clothes, which she surprised me by actually loving! Every parcel she opened ( Didn't need much help, either ) she'd pull the clothes out and go "OOH! PWETTY!", before moving on to the next gift.
Of which there were many.

She also got a bunch of books, and one of Kat's aunts had included a wee plastic magic wand with her present.
"BUTTEHFWY!"
It lasted all of half an hour before "Oh dee-yah, daddy... Buttehfwy boken!"

"Otay. Daddy get soopahgwoo."
"'Ess." *Nods* ... Buttehfwy fixed!"

And all was right with the world.

* Meme break *

2006-01-14T17:02:00.000Z

Reply to this post and I'll tell you a reason why I like you.
Post it in your own journal and spread the love.

Sooooo... The Festive Season, then?

2006-01-07T16:54:00.000Z

Was - Believe it or not - GREAT this time round!

Had a load of folk over on Xmas eve, and a good time was had by all. Peskypants stayed up about as late as could be expected - But moreso with the excitement of a lounge full of amusing people than with the thought of Santa coming. She didn't really "get" the whole Santa thing, I don't think.
Not until Xmas day, anyway.

It was great to see Jeff again, even if only for one evening. I miss the big geek when he's not around, and I rarely get the chance to have a proper chat with hm on MSN :(

After folk began to drift off home ( Well, Semp and Jeff. Julie naffed off early. ) Kat and I began constructing Morgan's main present - The Mothercare Cooker.
It WOULD be nice if, when Mothercare updated the design of their toys, they also UPDATED THE DAMN INSTRUCTIONS AND STICKER SHEET!

Worked it out in the end, anyway, and duly wrapped it in tinsel ready for the morning.

Slept, then:

Woke up around 8:30am, with her trundling round the hall. She came into our bed for a wee while, since "It's not time to get up quite yet. Come for a snooze".
We all nodded off.

The next thing I know, I'm having one of those "falling" dreams. I wake up with a start - And I'm 6 inches off the bloody floor!
A few milliseconds pass, and ( Being a decent, law-abiding sort ) I decide to obey the law of gravity... And hit the floor.
Even still, I'm kinda wondering what's going on. I lie there, and try to figure out what that noise is, that sounds like somebody wetting themselves with laughter.

Three guesses.

Apparently, Morgan woke up and stretched. She booted Kat in the tummy, which woke her up. As soon as Kat opened her eyes, she was just in time to see me disappearing over the edge of the bed.
I clambered back up, and removed Morgan's dummy.
As expected, it was hiding a great big smug grin.
Wee bugger.

Got up, and began the process of Present-Openerry...

Doubleyoutee-eff?

2005-12-24T04:24:00.000Z

So, tonight was another "The Pit" @ The Arches.
Was nice to see my name on the posters all round town, since some PR actually got done this time!
Not ENOUGH, but some...

The weird thing was, in the other hall was another club.
"Silent Disco".

I went through for a looksee at the end of the night - Weirdest club EVER!
As you enter, you're given a pair of headphones. ( I didn't get a pair, as I wasn't a punter ).

Cordless headphones - And no actual P.A. system. No speakers, or anything.
So you're in a room full of people singing along to what the DJs are playing - But only those with 'phones can hear the actual music.

Weird - but it looked like fun!
Depending on the setlist, it might be worth a visit.

Meme nicked from Snap's blog.

2005-12-19T23:46:00.000Z

A totally ACE meme
If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised...

WE'RE IN!

2005-12-19T23:36:00.000Z

We're in the house!
Finally!

OK, it ain't quite done yet - The electrician not turning up on a number of occasions means that the laminate floor in the hall has to wait until January... therefore, I can't bring the PC desk over until then, so I'm in the lounge just now with the kybard on my knee.
There's painting to finish, plastering to touch up, and a load of leccy work still needing done.
But we're in.
I slept here alone on Saturday night, with Kat last night, and Morgan joined us tonight.
WEE bit spooked with her new ( Currently mostly empty :( ) room, but she watched Blade Runner with Kat and I and fell asleep near the end.
Scooped her off to bed, and hopefully she'll 'nooze through.

Still not heard from The Evil One, which is nice.
And Kat's other aunt invited us over for New Year's Day dinner - "Your mother will be there - Is that alright?"
Looks like we might finally beat the old fucker at her own game - Kat's standing up to her, and the family aren't minding.

THANK CHRIST!

Gotta say "Thanks" to everyone who's helped us with the move so far, and to those who have promised to help move stuff over - We hired a van, but only had it for long enough to shift the really big stuff.
Got nowhere to put the rest yet.

T'was an adventure in itself - Kat insisted on joining Dave, me and David in a trip to B&Q after we picked her up from work, so of course I got consigned to the back.
Pitch black, and when we arrived back at the flat, David reversed into a garage.
Just a scrape, but enough to send him into a temper... SO he tried again, and scraped it again.
By the third time, he was so pissed off that he REALLY wasn't paying attention and battered it a good'n - Enough to send me flying the length of the goddamn van, and into the bulkhead finger-first.
Owie.
I heard lots of yelling - I felt sorry for the poor woman he was screaming at for parking in the wrong place.
Turned out to be Mum!

Oops.

That aside, it all went fairly smoothly - Still stressful as hell, but it could be worse.
I STILl maintain that shifting the essentials in one go, and taking our time over the small stuff, packing, moving, and unpacking it gradually, is the best and least stressful way to go about moving between two properties you have access to... But M&D wanna clean the flat up and get it sold ASAP.
Didn;t figure they'd be up for anything major over Xmas, but apparently they wanna break the back of the job that week..
Meh.

So, yeah...
Jam...

Happy, and feel at home for the first time in ages.
Since getting the living room done, Kat also seems happier than I've seen her for a long time.

Now to see about acquiring that plasma TV...
;)

Hey, bitch...

2005-12-07T21:01:00.000Z

You might be Kat's Mum, but that doesn't give you the right to come into our home and give her grief. It doesn't give you the right to phone Kat and give her shit that way, and it CERTAINLY doesn't give you the right to return later on and come in even when the door is not answered.

You are fucking lucky I wasn't in when you did that.

I know you're probably never going to read this - The temptation to print it off and staple it to your CUNTING FOREHEAD is getting higher by the second.

Fuck you.
You fuck Christmas one more year for Kat and Morgan, and you're getting cut the fuck off.
That's not a threat, it's a fucking promise. Add it to the stack of other lines that will have the same consequences if crossed.

Die.

In fact, let's just copy and paste this little entry fro LAST year... Last Christmas, after which you were all whingey and apologetic and promising you'd improve your behaviour:

See if you ever read this, Marlen?
Try this - If you are nice to other people, they will be nice to you.

If, on the other hand, you treat them aboninably... Lie to them, lie about them, and accuse THEM of lying - to their face, to their friends, and to their family...
You will reap what you sow and you will NOT be respected, liked, or contacted by the people you've wronged.

Evil begets evil... And you are an evil person.
I suggest you change, if you want to stay even a small part of our lives. Because if you keep on the way you are, I suspect that not only will Kat and I do our best to get as far away from your spiteful shite as possible... So will the rest of your family.
At least, if they have any sense they will. The best you can hope for if you don't change is to be tolerated.

Is that what you want to be?
The spiteful childish bully, who is only tolerated because of blood ties?

Change, then.

I guess I'm pretty much stuck. Fuck this.
Fuck you.

1st December. Kat's birthday. Tea? Juice? Rack of lamb?

2005-11-28T23:16:00.000Z

If you know us well enough to know where we live, feel free to pop in. It's been a while since we've seen anyone, and we feel LONELY!

( Don't worry, the contagion has been eradicated. )

Any time after about 6pm.

Ill.

2005-11-24T23:25:00.000Z

Meh.
House is coming along nicely.

Kat and I are currently emptying like two cartons of chocolate milk that have not only gone off, but burst at both ends.

Doctor has been out, says it's a viral infection. Should clear up within 24 - 36 hours.

Morgan's off to Mum's.

Meh.

Consider this an awareness campaign :)

2005-11-09T19:28:00.000Z

I'd forgotten to mention this...

"For the past three years, gamers and geeks around the world have raised nearly a million dollars in toys, games and cash for sick kids in Children's Hospitals across the globe through a grassroots charity called Child's Play."

http://www.childsplaycharity.org/

A good cause, IMHO.

More Fett Fun!

2005-11-07T21:56:00.000Z

So, once again it's time for the annual Memorabilia fair at Glasgow's SECC.
I snagged a McFarlane Hicks for £5, and a metric assload of other goodies.

On the second day, I Fetted up again... As Jeremy Bulloch was there.
Once again - Nervous as hell til I was in the suit... Then I couldn't go 10 feet without being stopped for a photo.
Mr Bulloch himself was charming - Very nice man, with a very nice wife.
We traded stories of uncomfortable outfits, and I had him sigh my bucket, by Boba statuette, and I bought his autobiography "Flying Solo".
He was very impressed with the outfit - Which ensured that a goofy grin was plastered all across my face for the next few days :D

Now home, and time to finish off the house, then go back to Fett to iron out the bugs that the two days out in it threw up.

Anyone know where I can get a cheap mannequin?

Asajj Ventress and Boba Fett IN THE (cat)HOUSE!

2005-11-04T01:33:00.000Z

Phew... The crush is over (Ish )

2005-11-01T12:38:00.000Z

No updated much of late, since we got the keys to the house over a week late - AND yesterday was Hallowe'en.

So I've been dividing my time between demolishing and remolishing parts of our new home, and trying to finish my Boba Fett outfit in time!

The house is coming along nicely - I'll get pix up soon.
Boba was not finished in time for Irv's hallowe'en party on Saturday night, so I threw together a Shaun costume, from Shaun Of The Dead. I made a badge, shaved differently, and bloodied/desleeved a white shirt. Kat kindly sacrificed a red T-shirt and sewed me up a nifty tie / headband, and I only went and left a red pen in the shirt pocket, didn't I? D'OH!
Ended up with red on me all night :(

Last night, though...
What do the following things have in common?:

£100 cash
Free transport by Hearse Limo
Dinner for 2 ( Or maybe 5 ) at Stavka
Free entry to the Cathouse
Free rounds of drinks
Free transport home, again by Hearse limo...?

I WON 'EM ALL!
Went to Rufus T Firefly pre-Catty, and it was a fairly crushed experience. Saw some mates I hadn't spoken to in an age, though.
Been working literally up to the last second to finish what I could of the costume - Got suited up outside the pub, and walked in nervous as hell.
SO worth it. The looks and double-takes were great. Shame there were two of your usual overly-friendly-and-in-your-face pissheads doing the rounds, getting on everyone's tits :(
Came second in their costume competition, as the tie-break came down to "Tell your favourite joke".
I opted to stay in character, and told a crap joke about a Jawa and a lightbulb - Nobody heard me growl "I'm a bounty hunter, not a comedian" into the mic, though - Too busy booing!
Still, as Quizzy the Quizmaster said, I had all the DVDs that were in the prize pack anyway. ( There were worthier costumes than the dinosaur/alligator that won, though - Unbless he MADE it as opposed to bought it, in which case he did deserve teh win.

Cathouse -Started out hovering by the bar, terrified to move in case I bumped into someone or snapped part of the armour.
Decided finally to go for a wander - And it was like Moses parting the red sea.
Such a buzz - Folk just staring open-mouthed as I walked past.
One dude actually did the "I'm not worthy" bow, for so long that I was actually starting to get embarassed!
It was somewhat warm, though - I sweated through all 4 layers of costume, and the glue holding the velcro on melted! Gotta find time to sew that stuff back before Memorabilia at the weekend.
So by the time I was told to go on stage for the judging of the contest, Gaffa Tape was my FRIEND!

It came down to me and my mate Joe - Who'd sewn up a mean Megaman outfit.
I won that - Snagging £100 in the process.
Judging was done by crowd-cheer-levels. Again - One hell of a buzz to have a nightclub full of people chanting... Well, not your name AS SUCH, but "BOBA! BOBA!" is nice too. With the odd "BAWBAG!" thrown in for comedy effect.

Then the female winner ( Sonic the Hedgehog, who'd beaten off Kim's "hilarious" costume of a white dress with blood smears round her crotch... AGAIN! Think that's the third year she's done that one...) and I went head-to-head.
I wasn't actually bothered about the dinner, so I was trying to big her up as much as possible.
I won again, though - So Kat and I have dinner at Stavka to look forward to.
I'm told it's either for 2 or for 5.
Here's hoping :)

I should mention KAt's outfit, too - Which looked excellent, and got a lot of attention too.
We took a green T-shirt donated by Julie Fae Next Door, stenciled the Weyland Yutani logo on the back, cut a hole in the front, and stuck a cuddly plush chestburster in there.
Add some strawberry syrup, and a stunning make-up job by Kat on her face, and she looked dead.
I photoshopped up a "scan photo" for her to show off - Took her REAL scan photo and added the Alien in.
T'was very cute :)
Pics ASAP.

Am I "A Blogger"? We'll see...

I need to properly update with stag info etc.

27/03/02

Goddam it, my cryotube malfunctioned.

More evidence that certain subsections of "the human race"...

No, really, I've fucking had enough.

Right, fuck it.

Arseholes...

Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it?

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank!

Not sure whether to laugh or boak!

Costume Update : Kat / Dropship Pilot

Meh.

Fathers' Day

I know, I know...

Dubbadubbadubbaduhdubbaduhdub...

Maybe I should have a celebratory glass engraved, or something?

WTF?

See if we weren't so concerned with "keeping the peace"?

"I might work for the company, but don't let that fool you. I'm really an OK guy!"

Happy Birthday Lee! Roll on April... Up Yours, March!

Maybe one day...

Awright, Ben?

Spelunking is bad.

Fucking scum.

Greenhills. Gotta love it.

Large Electronic Goods Chainstore Tales : 2

Large Electronic Goods Chainstore Tales : 1

Viva Espana?

Jeez... Update, willya, Steve?

*Sigh*

Maplin Electronics :)

Soup, fireworks, and dressing up..

Today was difficult.

Update:

Ohhhhhhhh...

Life : Devin Townsend

.

Foodstuffs KAt Bought For The Name Alone # 12

I need to have a wee word with my subconscious...

Fuck booze. Fuck it in the ass.

What's the sentence for defenestration of a baby?

Anatomy lesson.

Snoogans.

Clack... Click...

It gets better...

:| Not amused. ( Not yet, anyway... )

Cryyyptic...

WTF? Wow.

Fuck's sake...

Gutted.

Pensieves...

Oh shit, I forgot to post the good news!

Meeeeeeh...

Fuckign raging, here. Again.

On The Ready Line # 2.1

On The Ready Line # 2

On The Ready Line # 1.5

On the ready line!

Ooyah!

Uuuuuuupdates.

Great. This is all we fucking need.

WTF?

WOOO! NINTENDO DEE ESS!

That was the trailer...

Woo! Thunder!

Oohhhhhhh no... Oh, shit no...

Meeeeeeeeeeeh...

Hey, mate... You've got crows!

Man...

Fuck you. All of you.

It didn't.

Daemonic...

So... The Newbie!

In the memetime...

01:02 03/04/06

*Poke* GET OUT!

Grr. House rage!

*Sigh*

Meh.

Sigh

Poke GET OUT!

Sigh