Daemonic...

We arrived around 9pm, I think...
Kat had an examination, and was told that there was a HEEYOOWAGE sac of water ( Why is the word "Sack" fine, but the word "Sac" is inherently disturbing? :S )
between Lee's head and the preferred method of exit.
If that burst while his head was as far up as it was, the waters could have sooked the placenta out with them and caused a prolapse. VERY not good.

So Kat, instead of heading to the Midwife Led Unit, had to stay in the Labour Ward.

We hooked up our purloined portable DVD player, and started watching Shaun Of The Dead.


Menfolk - SAFETY TIP:
If your woman is in labour, do not under any circumstances go "Dubbudubbudubbududduddubah-dub..." immediately before she groans, with a repetition once she finishes.

She WILL notice what you just did, and elbow you HARD in the ribs, even if you ARE just at that bit in the movie and weren't taking the piss at all, honest, the timing of the moan was just sheer coincidence and anyway it would have been funny and helped to take her mind off it all.

We got half an hour in, before being moved to another room... This one with blood on the ceiling and a machine that went "BING!".

Here we stayed, while Kat had another internal examination or two.
By this time, it was really hurting her, and I was having to try to summon the courage to tell her to go easy on the gas and air.

Phear.

Frivolity aside, it really REALLY sucks to see someone you love have to endure such horrific-looking pain, and know that there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.


Anyway, the midwife commented to her assistant, about half past midnight, that nothing was happening and that the only thing to do was keep her under observation for the next 4 hours.

Yeah.
4 hours.

Lee must have heard her- because less than five seconds later someone managed to throw a water bomb through the closed,
fifth-floor window of the room we were in.
It exploded all over the bed, under where Kat was perched on all fours.


Seriously. "Eew".
If I were to try to describe it using the magic of onomatopoeia, I would write "SPLGRGHOOSHHHHH!"


"I take it that that means your 'four hours' comment goes out the window then?"

"Out the window? I'd say so. Yeah."


"Same way that water bomb came in?"


"What are you talking about you big big freak?"


"Nothing. Don't mind me..."


I pointed out that my bladder was somewhat full, and I went for a pee so I wouldn't be caught short if the next stage were to end up lasting for hours...