Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank!

So this week's been a great one for arseholes in my work!

Yesterday, some prick came in, ignored me and Andy and went straight for Kerri to yell as an opening line "If I wanted someone else's shoddy merchandise, I'd have bloody well-..." before I cut him off. The prick.
Kerri being roughly half my height and a tenth of my mass, and quite timid at the best of times it seems ( She's new. )

This utter cunt had bought a satellite system the day before, and been too much of a fucktard to be able to set it up himself, so had brought it back and demanded an exchange - Which he got.
Sadly, we forgot to upgrade his brain to a non-moron model, so he couldn;t set up the second system either.

Oddly, as soon as I politely told him to calm down and stop abusing my colleague or he would receive no help whatsoever... He lowered his voice.
Odd, that.
Cowardly prick, picking on the wee girl.

The second guy was just a nutter...

Me : Would you like me to add you to our mailing list?
Him : Yes. Alright.
Me : OK, cool. What's your address?
Him : [Tells me his address]
Me : Ta. What's your surname?
Him : I don't have one. Umm.. Erm... I've never been asked that before. I've not got one. Erm.. Anthony I think? Maybe?

And no, he wasn't Forn. Spoke with a Glasgow accent.
Was just a Nutter.

The third guy?

Another wank.

This one stormed in, slammed a phone/answering machine down on the counter in front of me, and stated:

"Telephone."

OK, what about it?

"It's no workin'."

The next ten minutes or so saw me asking him what wasn't working, and him informing me that he couldn't get it set up - And that "my mate" had told him to bring it in and he'd set it up for him. ( We'll find out what exactly Andy DID say tomorrow... ).

Upon being asked by myself if he'd read the manual, this old arse gave me a look like I was dogshit on his shoe, and sneered "Don't ask stupid basic questions. Of course I read the manual. It doesn't work. The time won't set properly."

Up until now, this guy wasn't getting an iota of assistance - I fucking hate folk with bad attitudes, and while I'll bend over backwards to help a polite customer ( Bearing in mind that tech support is NOT officially part of our job... ) if someone's giving me shit like that then they can fuck off and work it out for themselves.

So he's claiming it's buggered, and demanding I fix it.
And he's also adamant that he followed the manual?
Let's see, shall we?


Bollocks.
I read the manual page on setting the clock, followed the steps, and lo and behold... Correct time.

"OK, sir. I've set your clock to the correct time.. All you had to do was follow those steps."
"Show me."

So I reached out without looking at the phone, continuing to smile at the customer, and pressed the button to make the phone speak the time.
The girl behind him in the queue about wet herself trying not to laugh at that point.

"Well, it didn't work when I did it."
"Sorry, but you must have misread the manual. It's quite simple."
"Right, that's set. Now do the numbers and things."

Umm... Piss off.
I got my boss to come hover, and ( Again, perfectly politely ) apologised to the dude, but I didn't have time to set up the rest of the phone but if he folowed the manual like I did, he'd get the same results I did.

Prick lost the rag!
"I'm an engineer by trade for many years blah blah blah... You need to lose the attitude!"

My boss stepped in at this juncture to point out that far from having a bad attitude, I'd already done more than I'm really supposed to to help him out by showing him how to set his phone up.


"He didn't! He did it and didn't show me what he did!"

I felt obliged to point out once more that the manual has got little photographs of the buttons he needs to press, in order, and if he did so then he'd have a fully working phone.

End result?
Twatman trying to offer my boss outside for fisticuffs, after my boss told him to leave for calling me a smartarse at the top of his lungs.

If I was in smartarse mode, he'd have been a damn site more pissed off than that!

To cap it off, for some reason he yelled that I was a shit in Italian as he fucked off out the door.


I love my job :)


*Cue "But Steve... The customer is always right, and should always be treated politely" replies.

No, sorry. The customer can sometimes be a cunt... But those are the customers who get treated with EXTRA politeness, and it drives them NUTS to find their rudeness met only with courtesy and professionalism.


NUTS.
:D