Parcelfarce. Yeah, it's a shit joke...

... but it trips off the tongue a mite faster than "Parcelfuckingcuntragarseholeshitbagwankstaincrustycumscrapes."

5 rifles were sent up from Reading on Thursday.
£41 was paid for "Next-Day Delivery".

Are they here yet?
No.
What day is it?
TUESDAY!



Add that to the fact that T.N.T. claimed on Friday at half five that they'd attempted to deliver Sunday's ammo at 22 minutes past ( LIES! ) then after promising a delivery first-thing on Saturday had the nerve to tell me at 11:30 in the morning that "You're booked in for Monday if that's OK?" and I wasn't too pleased.


"You informed me on Friday that the parcel that was due then - And don't get me wrong, I don;t believe for a second that delivery WAS attempted since we've had folk at the door all day and heard it fine... And no card was left to prove that your guy had actually been here - You informed me that the parcel would be with me first thing this morning.
This parcel contains ammo for a paintball [ It's not worth the hassle of explaining... ] game that's scheduled for Sunday.
If I have no ammo, I have to cancel the game.
If I cancel the game, I lose money.
If I lose money, YOU lose money as we will be taking your company to court for loss of earnings incurred due to your company's incompetence even on the second try."

"The parcel will be with you within the hour, Mr Fletcher."


You're damn right it will be.