"What are you? Part bloody Andrex Puppy?"

I just ran a bath for Morgan there.
She was sitting in her room, happily playing with the top half of a stuffed dragon.
I went from the bathroom to the living room to get my phone.

In the space of the few minutes that this took me, a certain small person ditched Puff, snuck into the bathroom... And proceeded to place the following items into the bath:

1/8 of a roll of toilet paper
1 small blue cup
1 facecloth
1 dummy
1 "The Making Of Spider-Man" book
1 boot ( Black leather, pointy )


Not amused. She's been in a "Little sod" mood all night... Brought over the box of Quality Street, and said "Ta?"
So I gave her a chocolate.

Half an hour later, she did it again.
And threw a full-on "Throwing herself on the floor and howling" tantrum when I said no.

Add that to the "Chucking stuff randomly across the room" we've been getting all night, and I'm all for maiming the next person to give me any shit.
I've had enough shit for today, and there's only more to come during the week if my suspicions are correct.

A long-running dilemma...

Meh.
It's not a good night for me, really...

Pop Will Eat Itself played at the weekend in England - and I couldn't afford to go.
A friend of mine was at all three gigs - and I MSNed him to ask how it went, and if he got the "Fastest DVD Ever Made" as filmed at one gig and sold at the next.

Well, I was kinda on and off MSN, so the conversation had long gaps - I asked if he got the DVD, and asked how his new job was going... And if he'd been taken on permanently.

His response was "Stop only contacting me if you want something".
Well, at this point I start to get somewhat angry.

You see, I used to think of this guy as one of my best friends.
When you meet him, he's a really really nice guy.

I then became his flatmate - It seemed a good plan. We're both into comics, both into the same music, into the same movies, and share quite a few friends.
The problem is, some time after moving in... He lost his job.

The bills began to mount up, and to cut a long story short, he now owes me £600 ( And the Council are chasing me for £90 worth of Council Tax that he said at the time he didn;t need to pay. He was mistaken, as he was only due a discount, NOT a total wiping of the debt. )

So what am I to do?
It's been almost 3 years since this debt first accrued, and I've been TRYING not to mention it too often.
But when he's off to 3 gigs in London and off to visit his Dad in Amsterdam, and I can't even afford to go to ONE gig in London... It kinda gets on my nerves.
I understand that he's not got lots of cash - And that he's in a band, so finding a job compatible with that is difficult.
I understand all this... But THREE FUCKING YEARS!
It's getting slightly old.

I would like nothing better than to be able to relate to this dude as a friend once more.
Than to ring him up, and invite him over to the flat to just sit and chew the fat about comics, music, life, the universe... anything.
That's the problem - If he was a bad guy, then I'd write him off as a thief and chalk the debt up to "Some scumbag ripped me off".
He's not though... Not really. Unless I'm very much mistaken, he IS a good guy at heart and would never deliberately hurt anyone.

So what the fuck do I do?
I could do with the cash - It would go some way to paying off some of the bills that I NOW have to pay.

I know, I'm gonna get "You should have kicked him out", or "Why did you lend him the money?"
I didn't lend him it. I paid the electricity bill, the gas bill, and the phone bill. ( He managed to sort his rent out himself in the end, but the utilities were in my name. )

I couldn't kick him out, as I had to replace him or take on the whole flat myself. Not an option. And I'd never see a friend on the street if I could help it.
I had to pay the bills, or we lost power, gas and phone.

And now I'm fucked, stuck with a £600 dept from someone that I feel bad about asking for the money - and HE'S now angry at ME for bringing it up!


If anyone has any good suggestions as to what I can do here, without fucking the guy over or otherwise being a dick myself... PLEASE let me know.
I'm sick of this and have been for a long time.

"That music thing"

Yeah, I forgot to collate last night. So here it is, in a seperate post:

Explanation-
1. Open up the music player on your computer.
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit the "shuffle" command.
4. Tell us the title of the next ten songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. That's right, no skipping that Carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility. It's time for total musical honesty. Write it up in your blog or journal and link back to at least a couple of the other sites where you saw this.
5. If you get the same artist twice, you may skip the second (or third, or etc.) occurances. You don't have to, but since randomness could mean you end up with a list of ten song with five artists, you can if you'd like.

1. Prodigy - Trigger ( Live )
   
2. The Doug Anthony All-Stars - Joan Of Arc
   
3. Tori Amos - Cornflake Girl ( Tales Of A Librarian Version )
   
4. Weird Al Yankovic - Green Eggs And Ham
   
5. Ultraspank - Sponge
   
6. Limp Bizkit - Faith
   
7. Run DMC and Jason Nevins - It's Tricky
   
8. Spoken word, so I'm not counting it : Bill Hicks - The Garden ( Rant In E Minor )
   
9. Beck - One Foot In The Grave
   
10. Ed Rush & Optical - Pacman (Ram Trilogy Remix)
    
11. Moby - Machete

"You will therefore be taken to the Dune Sea, and cast into The Pit Of Carkoon..."

"...the nesting place of the all-powerful Sarlacc.

In his belly, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering,

as you are slowly digested over a thousand years."



One of the guys I know from the Prop Forums was out in Arizona a year or so back.

He went out to find the location at which the Sail Barge and Sarlacc scenes in Return Of The Jedi were filmed.

He found it - And found some goodies.



Long story short, I now possess some pieces of foam rubber that were part of the all-powerful Sarlacc way back when JEdi was shot.

OK, it looks like I have a piece of old naan bread and a chunk of puff candy - but I know what they are, and I'm making a display case for them with a little plaque and photo of the ( original, beakless, and best ) sarlacc.



Die wanna wanga?

The Return Of The Fellowship To ... well, to Kat's Mum's, but close enough.

[ 10 : Moby - Machete ]

Plan for today:

• ~ Noon - Greet Semp at door.
• ~ "As Soon After Noon As The Munchies Are Laid Out And The Tea's Ready" - Park our arses on the sofa and start watching The Lord Of The Rings.
• ~Midnight - Piss like racehorses and apologise to our eyes, to our buttocks, and to the sofa.

What ACTUALLY happened was that Kat's Mum phoned from the hospital, and claimed that she was "embarrassed that her house was a state", and could Kat go down and tidy it up so that Kat's aunt wouldn't see it in a mess?
She was due out around 4pm, and arrangements were made to pick her up then.

As it turns out, she got her prescription sorted early and was able to leave a few hours earlier... So of course she expected everyone to drop what they were doing and go get her. Luckily, this didn't happen.
Semp and I accompanied Kat down there, intending to pick up some newspapers, maybe put some dishes into the kitchen, and perhaps empty the bin. We did NOT expect to find the floors utterly filthy ( With fucking PILLS lying around! )... The kitchen all "kinda sticky", dirty clothes strewn around the upstairs hall, the fridge absolutely REEKING when Kat opened it, and the whole place generally living up to the tag of "Filthy stinking hovel".

Now, I know Kat's mum's not well. But she's not THAT ill.
And if she's well enough to demand that she be allowed to look after Morgan, she's sure as shit well enough to make sure that her flat is in a reasonable state for a toddler to safely play in. Whether or not Morgan's allowed into the kitchen, "pills on the floor" is completely unacceptable!

Sidenote: I also found what looked suspiciously like a piece of broken "Handmade etched-glass Trigun coaster"... Like the one she denies ever even having seen, never mind having used and smashed after previously been caught using them and told NOT to.
I left it on top of her computer monitor.

It sickens me just how much of my stuff this woman has damaged or lost, without so much as a recognition that she did wrong... much less an apology!
Every time I watch The Fellowship Of The Ring, the Argonath scene annoys me because it reminds me of the aforementioned time that she screamed at Kat and accused me of moving our Argonath replicas upstairs to spite her because she liked them - After she told us to take all our shit upstairs! Then after we "moved out", she dug them out of my desk drawer, and managed to break both and lose the parts she'd broken off.

No respect for other people, or their property.
It's not hate... It's not even dislike.
It's disdain.


We grabbed some of our stuff, and headed back to begin watching The Other Holy Trilogy.
Julie A joined us midway through The Two Towers, and began to be freaked out by Gollum.
We educated her in The Ways Of The Wilhelm ( As mentioned in the esteemed Mr Semperson's blog... ) and a good time was had by all.
There was some decent banter throughout the movies we'd watched already, with an appropriate quietening during the extended version of The Return Of The King.

I like it! As I said a the time, the extended versions really ARE the versions of these movies that you should be watching. If the experience of watching the extended Return Of The King shows Peter Jackson's skill as a director ( And an editor when compared to the standard version and vice versa ) then watching all three back-to-back comfortably really shows his skills. What other movies / TV shows could you watch for ~12 solid hours and not get bored?

The first photo ever to be leaked from the set is explained here, too.
It was HOW many years ago now that folk were arguing about whether the "Wizard Kabob" shot of an robed figure impaled on a spiked wooden wheel, in front of a big blue-screen setup was even FROM LOTR?

I'm not too happy about the deletion of the Scouring Of The Shire... Of Sharkey's material, so to speak ;). But that aside, I think Jackson pulled it off admirably.

DAKKA DAKKA *Crash*

Friday Night... Airsoft.
INDOORS!

In a disused warehouse, converted from an old cinema, in Govanhill... to be precise.
Pissing distance from my old flat with Kat, to be even more precise!

I was somewhat wary of the evening, since I hadn't actually SEEN the place before. I'd been in contact with "William The Butcher" from the local Paintball team, who had been leasing the place for Paintball until they judged it too small for their markers.
"Turns oot", it was just the right size for Airsoft guns. So woo... and indeed, yay!


I'd said to the players to be there for 7, and Iain picked me up to head in. We got slightly confused as to where the actual DOOR was when we got there... Compounded by the fact that there's no direct access to the street the place is on from the main road. Some map-reading shenanigans later and we're in.
Wow.
"Too small" for Paintball maybe, but with one tyre-barrier-filled main upper room about the size of the Catty's top floor, a few side rooms, 4 seperate stairwells, a few more lower-floor rooms and two main downstairs rooms with a good few Matrix-ey support pillars... I was in Airsoft heaven!
I don't know if we'll be able to get the place again - Even if the landlord [ 4 : Weird Al Yankovic - Green Eggs And Ham ] agrees to a reasonable lease, the fact that the fluorescent tubes are shootable might add enough to the amount it'd take to make it safe enough [ 5 : Ultraspank - Sponge ] to prohibit us from taking it on.
If we can hammer something out, though, we will.

The safezone was nice - A small canteen with some fixed tables and power points for battery chargers.

Memorable Moments :

• In a game where one team have to defend the middle of the upper floor from another team attacking up the stairs, with the lights off, some bastard shot out the fluorescent tube that was directly above Boabzilla and myself. To say that we shit our pants would be something of an understatement, as 6 feet of glass came crashing to the floor inches from where we were crouched. It being pitch dark and all, save for the sweeping torch-beams of the other players, we didn't know what the hell had just happened! I first thought that someone's blank-firing grenade had gone off in our midst. As it happens, that was being saved for a few minutes later. Swines.
• A section of damp plasterboard from the ceiling, roughly 4 metres long by 1.5 metres wide [ 6 : Limp Bizkit - Faith ] , swung down hinged at one end and lightly brushed the head of the girl stood below it, before the "hinge" gave and the whole lot WHUMPed down beside her. Again... Clean undies time! Rather amusing, but I'd rather it hadn't happened to be honest. Ceilings are useful. [ 7 : Run DMC and Jason Nevins - It's Tricky ] No harm done, anyway. Basically, the building's structurally sound but some of the cosmetic details are beginning to fall apart. Safe enough for Airsofting ( Once the snag / trip hazards are dealt with, and the glass is swept up ) but the "Can we use it as a nightclub?" idea is a non-starter.
• In a reversal of the dark game, I made a run across a large section of open floor to hide behind a tyre pile and engage the enemy therefrom. I had a G3 as my weapon - Not the handiest gun in the world. Gaze in awe at Scapey's 8m baseball slide across damp carpet - UN-NOTICED BY THE ENEMY! I think I got about 9 kills after that. Go me.

• Last moment came seconds from the end of the final game of the evening - In a free-for-all game [ Spoken word, so I'm not counting it : Bill Hicks - The Garden ( Rant In E Minor ) ] with each team starting out halfway down opposing stairwells, one team ALL ran UP the stairs... And the other all ran DOWN! Had I not pointed out to Boab what had happened, we'd have been running in circles all night. [ 8 : Beck - One Foot In The Grave ] So after a few little engagements downstairs in the darker of the large rooms, we decided that only one of the three of us that were down there could easily defend the single connecting door to that stairwell. Bob and I went back up to the main hall... Then decided to go for one last push to surprise the buggers. I opened the door, and [ 9 : Ed Rush & Optical - Pacman (Ram Trilogy Remix) ] narrowly avoided the burst of fire that came up at me. Our man had been eliminated, and they were about to swarm up the stairs! Monkey earned himself great kudos by running over, and with seconds on the clock throwing a grenade into the door and pulling it shut. *BOOM!* Woo!

Yay for simulated violence.
More shortly, along with the final entry in the Playlist Game!

*Additional*
Fuck's sake, I was ready for rage there! Blogger went down for about 10 minutes just as I hit "Publish". I was scared to hit "Back" just in case it hadn't stored what I typed properly...

"The Force is strong with this one. And he's numbered, limited edition!"

First up, I'm doing the "Shuffle your entire MP3 collection, and post what plays" thing just now. So the random song names popping up here are part of that.

[ Prodigy - Trigger ].

Now what have I been up to for the past few days?
I'll stick some headings down now, so I don't forget the main bits here as I type.
Yes, I'm that tired :)

Edinburgh.
Airsoft.
Lord Of The Rings.

OK, those are my virtual bits of string tied neatly round my fingers. Not TOO tight, or ill cut odf ciorclkuil;ation and be unjabnlke to typope...


Edinburgh:
My mate Shug mentioned on MSN the other day that [ The Doug Anthony All-Stars - Joan Of Arc ] he's a bit of a Star Wars fan. Then, as we were chatting, I mentioned that I had to sort out some Airsoft shit over Edinburgh way.
He offered to give me a run over, and an idea sprung into my mind. Because there was a little bit of OTHER business needing taken care of in that very same city.
I'd arranged a trade of some of my surplus sstuff with a guy I know from another forum for some of HIS surplus stuff.
Now, if you think that I'M a Star Wars geek, you honestly ain't seen NOTHIN'.

I have a fairly sizable collection of 3 3/4" scale ships, 12" scale figured, and am beginning to acquire some 1:1 scale helmets and props. ( It was some 12" scale figures, and a few rare numbered-limited-edition-porcelain-statues that I was getting from him on this occasion. )
I didn't tell Shug anything about the guy. Not even why we were going. All he knew was "I need to pick up some stuff." ( We actually planned to go and have a look round Corstorphine nuclear bunker, of "I did a training weekend there with the SAS" fame... But we got so unbelievably lost that EK > Edinburgh and back with half an hour stopover too 6 hours! So the bunker went out the window. )

So what did Shug see there? In the paral^H^H^H^H^H living room?

From memory:
Official and unofficial ( read "Slightly more accurate" ) replicas of every lightsaber in every movie, and some concept models / comic models.
Ditto Blasters.
The odd Thermal Detonator and Jedi remote... Droid callers, Jawa Ion blasters, Force Axes, Gaffi Sticks, T [Tori Amos - Cornflake Girl ( Tales Of A Librarian Version ) ]
ahem.
The Emperor's Cane And Cloak Clasp
2 Battle Of Yavin medals
A few X-Wing pilot helmets
6 or 7 different alien masks
Biker Scout helmet
Boba Fett helmet ( Fibreglass... I WANT THIS! )
Unofficial and "From the original moulds" stormtrooper helmets
"From The Original Mould" TIE helmet
Various other helmets and bits of gear...

Life-size mannequins of:
Darth Vader
Han Solo
Princes Leia
Stormtrooper ( Wearable armour )
R2-D2
Yoda


And more other little trinkets and models than you can shake an evil-looking twisted black cane such as that used by Emperor Palpatine at.
That's just the shit he's FINISHED!
Loads more W.I.P.

Here's some of the stuff I got, and Shug with some of Marcus' collection:
http://www.alternativenation.net/gallery/files/2/4/8/4bustslight.jpg
http://www.alternativenation.net/gallery/files/2/4/8/shugsaber.jpg


More Star Wars later on...

I better backdate this post, actually, so folk don't drown in text. And so if my PC goes mammaries-ascendant I'll not be shouting and swearing TOO much...
Don't worry, I'll collate the tunes into one post when I'm done :)

Some people just seem to be incompatible with the truth...

I just found out today that apparently I'm "The only person who ever needed to be removed from [ INSERT LYING NIGHTCLUB MANAGER'S NAME HERE ]'s office".


This is interesting, since I'm sure not only the person who was with me on the occasion, but also the security cameras throughout the building in question would agree with me that after being told that I wasn't being paid the money I was due, I was asked to leave the office.
And did so, since I know fine well that nightclub stairwells can be dangerous places to trip and fall...

PENGUINS! PENGUINS! PENGUINS!

So, the last few days, in reverse order.

Today: FireFight.

Shite weather, low turnout, fun games. I really hope we can get the rent changed to a "Per paying player" payment instead of a flat rent. As it is, we lose money if we have fewer than 20 players or thereabouts... But I still enjoy playing when there's only about 6. A new rent agreement would be a major load off my mind. As it is, I don't sleep the night before a Firefight day, mostly through worrying about the turnout the next morning. Gah.


Yesterday and Friday: Edinburgh.

My mum's cousin, and her husband and kids ( Margaret, Winston, and Jack and Beth - Jack being a year or so younger than me, and Beth a year or so younger than my sister ), were up from Kent to visit and we'd gotten hotel rooms in Edinburgh for the "Family gathering".
Originally mooted as being in Dublin, then Stirling, I really don't know why the hell we bothered. There's room at Grandma and Grandad's place for everyone that came up anyway, so for me, Kat, Morgan, Julie ( My sister ), Mum and my stepdad David - not to mention Grandma and Grandad to go all the way through there only for Margaret and Winston to announce that "Oh, Jack and Beth will be down for dinner after they watch Top Of The Pops in their rooms..." seemed something of a waste of time.

Morgan was very good, considering - Slightly cranky, but easy enough to distract with stuffed animals. She enjoyed her dinner, and happilly trundled around the restaurant / bar until it was decided that Kat and I were NOT going to be able to go clubbing after all, as Morgan was to stay in our room.
*Sigh*
Oh well... So much for a few beers, and a nice relaxing movie on TV / book to read.

We didn't mind TOO much, since we knew we'd be up early as we wanted to head to the Zoo in the morning, and maybe hit the Museum of Childhood as well.

Nah, not happening.
As soon as we got up to the room and put her in her cot, Morgan went nuts.
Not even just crying - outright screaming tantrums.
We took her into the bed with us for a bit... It quietened her slightly.
In the end, we didn't get to sleep at all until roughly 5am.
Breakfast was between 8:30 and 11.

Mum phoned us around 8 IIRC, and came up for Morgan at 9ish.
She was informed that we had had next to no sleep, and that if she could take Morgan to her room, we'd be down for breakfast around 10:30... With apologies to the family for our ignorance. I hoped they'd understand our tardiness.


No need! Seems that Jack and Beth didn't want to bother coming down for breakfast, either.

So although the whole damn point of us going through there was to see them, they didn't actually speak directly to myself, Kat or Julie for the whole time we were there!
I have NO idea why not - Since the last time Beth was up, she was cool. OK, it's been a good few years since we saw Jack, but he didn't seem to have changed too much since then. ( Even at dinner the night before, Julie, Kat and I had sat at one end of the table with Morgan... And with the rest of the table still empty when they got there, J&B STILL chose to sit as far away from us as possible.
WTF?
Screw it... I won't be bothering with such family gatherings in future if that's how it's gonna be ( Great dinner or no great dinner ;) )

So our plans were out the window for Saturday as well, and as it was 1pm before we got to leave the hotel, the Zoo visit had to be really rushed.


Got to see Penguins though.
Penguins rule.

"Choke On Your Selfish Lies!"

So it's been a little while since my last entry - basically because bugger all's been happening.

Today, though, was another FireFight game at Drymen.
Big, wide open, and windier than the fireblasted and empty plains of Mordor before the Black Gate - probably.
BBs were behaving incredibly strangely - I'm susprised nobody hit themselves with the speed the winds were getting to at times. Our old friend "Horizontal rain" put in an appearance too ( Even achieving diagonally UPWARDS travel at times... )
Oh, and Edgecrusher lost half a tooth to Orev's stock gun.
Must've been the tailwinds.


I had a mention-worthy dream last night.
I'd read a news article on John Christopher's Tripods Trilogy being greenlit for a hollywood production yesterday, and clearly my subconscious liked the idea - since as far as I was aware last night, the following occurred:

I was sitting in my living room ( On the 8th floor ) with a few friends and neighbours. A news report on the TV mentioned that we'd been invaded by Tripods. Just as it comes on, a blinding light shines through the window... and I dive behind the sofa so as not to be seen.
Didn't work - As the big metal tentacle grabbed me and tried to yank me outside.

Somehow, I managed to snap the tentacle - and everyone dived down a rubbish chute that was where the TV is in my bedroom.
I was about to follow, when the door was kicked in by a "shock trooper" of sorts - Kinda like the "Masters" from the original books / TV show, but smaller and more violent.

I beat it to death with the tentacle, then tried to get down the chute.
My shoulders were too broad.

Then I woke up, and was frozen for about 5 minutes til the adrenaline wore off.

Scary as HELL... But fun once it had worn off.




Finally for this evening, a little bit of vitriol.

A certain huge Glasgow nightclub that royally screwed me over ( As opposed to a certain small Glasgow nightclub that royally screwed me over ) ... Lied to me, and in effect stole a few hundred quid from me by withholding a night's takings ( Their excuse being that I DARED to mention over the PA that I was moving MY NIGHT to another venue effective the next week ) as well as refusing to put on any decent drinks promos, never having enough pint glasses to sell enough cheap cider and black when they DID drop the price, and various other acts of incompetence or deception... has decided to open another rock night.

Guess what?
The drinks promos that I was denied are there in spades ( All drinks are £1.30. I was told that even matching the Catty's £1.50, or whatever it was, was impossible. )
The sponsorship deal is in place - Something I was told could only be arranged if the club was ALREADY busy ( or "Busier", since to my mind, 100 - 300 people's not BAD for a Wednesday night niche-market club. )

Meh. It seems like it's the same manager, so I fully expect the club to be given the right royal fuckover if it doesn't do astoundingly well.
Given the breaks it's been given, and the fact that Muppet's DJing, it'll probably do not too badly.

500+ though?
We'll see...

Some cryptic ponderings...

"The more I look at recent events, the more I think that I'd like them to occur again elsewhere sooner rather than later."