Today's Telemarketing Thing.

My phone just rang... And yet again, it was the old "Hi! You have just won a prize! Press 7 to connect!" crap.
I've signed up for the Telephone Preference Service, but because these companies are based in the states, it's ineffective. I've had loads of calls from these same folk, with a different "company name" each time. I got the address out of them a few calls back, though

So... Today's call. Enjoy

Telemarketer : Hi there. You're through to the Disneyland prize line. May I take your prize number?

Me ( Normal accent... but talking a bit "stupid" ) : I'm sorry, I don't... Don't know my prize number. How... How do I find it?

I can get you one. Just hold on a second.

I can give you my ay-ddress if you like?
[ I switched to an American accent during this sentence, having come up with an idea ]

Well alright, but I need your telephone number.

OK, well I'll give you my address first. It's 4525...

45... 25. OK.

4525 Vineland Road.

4525 Vineland Road?

That's right. 4525 Vineland Road, Or-lando Florida.

Orlando Florida? Where you at?

I just said. 4525 Vineland road, Orlando Florida. That's mah address.

No. Where? Florida?

Yup. Sunny Florida.

You can't be. Where you at?

I'm over by the cooler! Wave hi!

Naaaw... Where you at?

Me? Why ah'm over here by the cooler! Stand up! Cain't ya see me?

Cooler?
[ At this point, the line became crackly. I think he'd gone cordless or patched someone else in. ]

Yeah. Over here! HELLOOO! Wave, dude!

Where are you at, boy? What company you with?

Whut company? Why, that'd be Sunshine Travel Ee-scape, 4525 Vineland Road, Suite 207 Orlando Florida

What? Sunshine... Where are you at? How much money you make today?

Me? More than you, what with this long call and all...

What you mean? More than me?

Yup. By the way, go ask your manager what the Telephone Preference Service is, and ask why you shouldn't be callin' people that have already told your company not to call them.

My manager's listenin' in!

Good! Hey man, you're making illegal phonecalls! Take this number off your list.

Oh, we got a special prize for you!

What's that? An ass-whuppin'? Try it. I'm on the other side of the world. Enjoy your high average call time for today!

And with that, I hung up and went to make a sandwich.


I hereby issue a challenge to my fellow UK peepz.
If these swines call any of you reading this... Press 7... Or press 9. They canNOT charge you any money as THEY rang YOU.

So get put through to an operator... And come back here with the funniest pisstake you can. See how long you can string them along for, and mess with their call time.
Record the call if you can!

*Eats sandwich*

:( *Waves bye-bye for a week*

That's Pesky and Peskier off to Lanzarote for a week - They're staying at Mum's tonight, as it's easier to get to the airport from there tomorrow and I'd arranged a LAN party for tonight that kinda fell on it's arse after EVERYONE pooved out.

I miss 'em already :(

OK, I suck. I caved...

I got Pesky Pants up, and let her watch TV while I had my dinner of chicken soup and toast. ( She didn't want any. )
Tried tucking her in on the sofa so she'd fall asleep, but she was having none of it. Wanted to sit up and watch some standup - Which bodes well for her comedy tastes I guess :)

She's a sneaky wee shite, it has to be said.
She stood up, and sidled along the sofa towards me. Stood behind me for a few minutes, then fell over onto her weird-blanket-thing-with-a-cow's-head-at-one-end-and-arse-at-the-other.
I only noticed when she started to get sleepy, and I took her back through to her bed passing the mirror on the way, that she'd put Kat's cat hat on me.
It's made of fuzzy felt, and is very light, so I hadn't even felt it.

Given that she was perfectly happy to march back to bed this time ( Pausing in the hall to collect Kibble and Shug the glowing ghosties from Ikea ), I suspect that the "hat gag" may well have been her entire reason for throwing such a strop in the first place!
Lying there dozing, the idea came to her... And thus a plan was formed.

Meh.

Spent most of the day rearranging the kitchen, and reinstalling Windows on my PC.
Kat was due in at 11, as she was going for a pint or two with some workmates.
She's now gonna let me know before 2 if she'll be home later than 2. They've decided to go on to Crystal's.

( EDIT: WOOHOO! SHE ARRIVED HOME AT FIVE PAST ONE :D )
(Edit 2 : 20 past 1 now... She's off next door to Julie's for an hour. :| )

And Morgan's just started screaming for no reason.
She's got a clean nappy, no rash, she doesn't want food, she doesn't want a drink, and I don't think she had a nightmare because she usually calms down after a cuddle if that's the case. She's just throwing tantrums and chucking anything ( Food, toy, whatever ) you give her back at me as hard as she can.

Meh.
Fuck this. Can't wait for next week - I'll actually maybe get some sleep, and get some stuff done!

Not that I'm not still somewhat pissed off that Mum's paying for Kat and Morgan to go to Lanzarote with her and my Sister, and I'm not invited.

Don't get me wrong - Kat deserves a break, and I hope she enjoys it.
I'm just sick of Mum's apparent "Oh, he doesn't matter. He doesn't need a break - He does nothing anyway. And why's he moaning about not getting any sleep? He doesn't need any!"

Fuck that too.

( Officially, Kat's off with our neighbour, her mate, and her wee girl. This once we ARE lying to Kat's mum - since she'd throw a fucking childish stroppy tantrum if she knew that my Mum was funding a holiday for Kat. )

In keeping with the theme of this post so far...

Fuck her and all...

Sun, sand and 'soft. This time with actual sun!

Saturday morning.
Time for some airsoft!

Well, once we compensate for the fact that Stuart's GPS is a bit special, and sends us waaay out the wrong way before doubling back. Wasted a good 20 minutes, there :(
Everyone else got lost too though, so it's all good :)

That was one of the best days I have ever had airsofting. It REALLY proved how good the Drymen site is if the weather's good.
The last few times we've played there, it's been pissing down with rain - And it's been "Pretty damn good."
This time, the sun was beating down and it was INCREDIBLE!

Lots of new folk, and I think that each and every one of them had such a good time that they'll be back regularly.

The excellent work done by Robert and co on the bunkers was proved worthwhile too - Although when you've got 7 folk all hiding in one small bunker/trench, those thunderflashes become worth their weight in gold. Oh, the comedy...

*SnapFIZZZZZZZZZZ...*
"FUCK!"
"FUCK!"
"FUCK!"
"FUCK!"
"FUCK!"
"FUCK!"
"FUCK!"
*Boom*
( All ) "Fuck."

Some fun scrapyard play, and many high points.


Me shooting Orev through a small hole in a pile of concrete, and his response of "HIT! Where the hell ARE you?!"
Right before some sneaky sod creeps right up on me, and nails me GOOD.


I decided to climb up and check out the big hopper-thing. Expecting it to have no "floor" as such, rather a grid or something, I was pleasantly surprised to find a load of earth and grass up there.
Comfy!
I spent the remainder of that game picking off Reds who thought themselves well hidden behind the sand dunes.
Seen Navy SEALs? Call me "God".


In a "Bomb the bunker" game, the last ten minutes swung more than middle-aged saddos at a car-key party.
Me and Sneaker managed to get round behind the Reds, onto the hill behind their defenses. Along with Stuart, we did a good job of keeping each other alive, and picking the Reds off.
Then me and Stu both got slotted, and Orev mediced almost all the reds, one by one.
Then Mark and Dave came up from the front, and took them down again. Just as I called 5 minutes ( Meaning that anyone shot was now DEAD ), Dave went to slamdunk the bomb - and managed it, excepting the fact that the Reds had been medicced again and he got shot just as he did so.
Sneaker then tagged me, Mark took some more Reds down, and I managed to dive all the way down the hill to win the game.
Proud moment, but I've got the bruises to show for it!
My right arm is an insane colour at the moment.

The ladies kicked much ass too, but bowed out early to go and start the food.
I'm not commenting on that at all. I'm sure there's a joke in it somewhere, but it's a dangerous one and that's a risk I'm too scared to take, even in the name of comedy.

( Entertainingly, Jen and Kat misunderstood Stu's advice to "Put tinfoil over the BBQ and it'll cook faster". He meant to put foil OVER the food... Oops! :) )

Burrelly was along, and "tested" some guns on his arm.
Including a rather overpowered target pistol.
He now has a hole in his arm.

Another amusing moment occurred when I got a bit switched-off, and walked round a corner - Right into his patrol!
I don't think either of us had been expecting the other to have moved so fast, if in that direction at all!
So a good wee skirmish across the bottom end of the site, followed by some nice moving-up action from me, Stuart, Sneaks and Esi.
Stuart got yet another win under his belt by opting for the "LEG IT!" option.
Woo.

There was more, but I gotta go eat.

Birthday Weekend.

So... It's been a week of sore stomachs, and PC-building.
Prior to that, though:

Last Thursday, I headed into town with Morgan to meet Snap at his work.
Turned out that Mum finished half an hour earlier than I thought though so rather than giving us a lift up the road, she took Morgan back to her place while I went to Plagiarist, then I went to hers by bus for a lift home after.
Snap had told me that there was a big load of 2nd hand trade paperbacks in - He FAILED, however, to mention that they had a 50% sale on! So I missed most of them.
Still got a load of JLA and Elseworlds stuff, which is nice :)
And a copy of Splinter Of The Mind's Eye - the first ever sequel to Star Wars ( Before Empire was written. ).
He also mentioned that there was a small chance he could get me into a press preview screening of Episode III.
The next day or so was spent mainly staring at the phone, willing it to ring.
It did.

So I got to see the movie a good few days before most others - Anbd on Screen 3 at the UGC, too :D
In an odd coincidence, we ended up sitting next to Chris - The runner from Commando VIP!
I'd never met the dude before in my life, happened to work with him up in the arse end of nowhere in the Highlands for a fortnight - Then days later bump into him at a press screening that I've blagged into. DOODOOdoodooDOODOOdoodoodOODOOdoodoo...

It rocks, by the way. If you've not seen it yet - GO SEE IT!

Went home, ate some food, and prepped for Saturday.

Oh, for fuck's sake...

So today Kat mentions that her Mum was on the phone again last night...

( Imagine this in a whingeing, pathetic voice - Intended to bring about guilt in the listener. )
"Oh, that confrontation the other night. I had chest pains!"

You had WHAT?
Well, if you don't want confrontation, don't turn up and my fucking house and start shit!
You honestly think I'm going to let you give me cheek and NOT respond?
Fuck you.

I think you're lying about the chest pains anyway.
If not... Good. Maybe you're developing an inbuilt failsafe system whereby either way, Kat and I are left alone and not bothered with your shite.

"And I'll have no cheek from you!"

Sorry?
No cheek from me?
You GOT no cheek from me.
You turned up at my fucking front door, abused my fiancée - She is ILL. We ALL are. We FORGOT that you pick Kat up on occasion... And Kat APOLOGISED TO YOU FOR IT.

"HE could have phoned me..."

HE wasn't aware there was a problem.

"He knew you were off work."

Yes, HE fucking well did. But HE didn't know that you were going to get Kat, as you usually phone to confirm a pickup.

"Don't answer me back"

Sorry... When you are in MY fucking home, abusing MY fiancée - I'll speak to you how I cunting well please.
And believe you me - That was me being polite. You've never HEARD me being impolite to you.

You are a fucking liar. You live in your own little fantasy fucking world, and your family know it.
Speaking of family - If any of you lot are reading this... You better have a fucking word with that woman, as I will NOT put up with her shite for much longer.
She keeps pushing, and pushing - She WILL push too far, and she'll be told everything she needs to be told, in no fucking uncertain terms.
Get it fucking sorted, or I will.
You've told me before that "She's our sister... We're used to her. Kat's used to her. You need to get used to her."

Wrong.
She needs to fucking well change.

I will not suffer her shite any longer.

I'll get to the telly stuff soon, I promise!

For now, a wee update on the weekend.

S'been pretty good.
Hung out a bit with Kat, Semp and Dave - Ended up at the Greenhills for a few on Saturday night, but my head felt like it was going to explode, so I hiked hame.
Annoyingly, while I was outside, my sinuses were OK... As soon as I got back to the flat, it was hell again.
Kat appeared about half one, but she wasn't coming to bed. She had retrieved our bottle of Bailey's for Dave, and was going to Julie's for a few more.
She eventually came home about half six, having ( I found out the next evening ) gone to the shops with Dave around 4:30, fallen over and hurt her knee.
It's all scabby and yellow now :(

Sunday was FireFight.
Glorious weather for the most part - Mid-morning, it went:

sunsunsunsunsunsunsunsunFUCKINGHAILsunsunsunsunsun...

Which was somewhat baffling. But hey, refreshing!

We tried the "Small squad vs lots of others" game again - It's still great :)
I wish I'd put my foot down on this sooner, and just told the "We want even teams all the time, and to hardly ever be sitting out" brigade to STFU.
If you don't wanna sit out for 20 minutes, don't get shot within 59 seconds of the game starting!

Setup was:
1 squad of 6, with one medic ( Iain in this case ) "carrying 3 medkits", attacking the farm against 18 other players who can;t go outwith touching distance of the outer farm walls.
1-life, and you're dead - Unless you get medicced, and that can only be done once.

Iain and I split off from our 6, snuck round the very back of the farm with Dave and his sister in tow.
Not sure where the other two got to... I set off down the trench, and Iain caught up with me about halfway along.
"Can I get by?"
"Can you what? Dude, we're in a trench, and I have a fondness for pie!"

In the end, he did get past - And Orev spent about £12.50 in Thunderflashes trying to get us out.
Good job for us he throws like a girl - Not one of them got into the trench. Woo!

My knee REALLY started to go at one point - Not just giving out, but hurting like hell too.
But it seems not too bad just now.

All in all, a good day.

Kirsty was back too, and ended up with most of the males there hitting on her.
Which was entertaining - hopefully nobody was TOO sleazy...

Gotta go ring Dad now.
My grandfather ( "Pal" )'s not well, and in hospital.
I hope he's alright. :|

More later on.