What's the sentence for defenestration of a baby?

Seriously... Lee's screeching is driving me absolutely insane!

Constant "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Whiny, nails-on-a-blackboard, makes-you-wanna-scream-SHUTTHEFUCKUP!, nothing-at-all-wrong-with-him, changed-fed-tried-everything GAH-ness!



Seriously...
Lee IS Kreepy Ket...




I've been trying to work on an old bike today - Cleaning it, possibly painting it if I can get transfers off, making sure it's safe and the like.

Gave up on that due to every 5 minutes hearing NNNNNGGGGGGGGG! screeeching from the house.

Have managed to get some pictures / clocks up...
But I'm really at snapping point. I'm sick of the sound of it. I do not want to hear it any more. Ever again.

Short of ramming a knitting needle into each ear, though, I don't see what I can really do about the situation.




Bollocks.

Anatomy lesson.

ROFL!

"Morgan got plaster! *Points*"
"Yes, Morgan. You scraped your knee, so you have a plaster."
"Morgan wanna plaster on it! *Points elsewhere*"
"*Blinks*
...

... No. That's supposed to be there. Now put your pants on."

Sheesh...

Snoogans.

So, what have I been up to?


Saw Snakes On A Plane last Friday.
T'was funny. A guy came into the cinema with rubber snakes. That was amusing.

Saw Kevin Smith at the Edinburgh Festival on Saturday.
Was funnier. I <3 his banter.
"FUCK DVD!"

Sadly, I wanted to go to a wee pizza place Andy showed us a few years back... But we'd met Mandy and the View Askew board folk, and they were for a-wandering... And Kat wanted to talk to Mandy, so Andy ended up leaving, pissed off with the lack of decision making as regards getting something to eat.
Home, phone pizza.

Been a fast week - But we've not done much.
Kat joined the gym, and has been going daily.
It'll be a cold day in hell before you get me in a bloody gym, I'll tell you that much!
Seems to be doing her the world of good, mentally and physically.

I sat all Thursday night, convinced it was Wednesday and planning what to do with my Thursday ( In the middle of repairing all the Airsoft masks and the like, so more of that nonsense, likely ).

7:55am Friday, Kat pokes me.
"Whuhfuh?"

"Shouldn't you be taking Morgan to nursery?"

"It's Thursday."

"Nope."

"Bugger."

And, of course, the 8:30 bus didn't bloody show, and the 4 bus drivers I eventually had to deal with were all pricks.


Had an interview at Maplin last Friday, BTW... Seemed to go pretty well. Again, week's gone by so fast I plumb done and forgot to mention.

Today, Beth and Ernie came round to discuss Airsofty things.
Socially nice as it was, I was very pleased with how the game chat went. I can see us making great progress with the site over the next wee while.

Oh, and Satan's picking icicles off his ass... And Kat looks good in a swimsuit.
I only did her regime, stepped up a few notches. Was fun, though. Also, I've never been in a steam room or a sauna.
Also fun. Specially with Kat in the aforementioned wee black swimsuit.

I dislike stretches though.
Make ya feel like a fanny.

Might join properly, and start going regularly - Depends on Kat's mum babysitting though, and on the Maplin job.
Would be nice to still have some semblance of free time...

Clack... Click...

Bang.

It gets better...

I just made him up another bottle... No water in the kettle, so I had to boil more.
Then wait for it to cool.

Then give him it.


And, NATURALLY, he did his usual "Turning his head whilst drinking, then screeching when the milk source disappears" stuff.


Then he farted.

A great big long, rippling fart.

Or so I thought.
Then he shifted his weight to the side. So I looked at the edge of his nappy to see if he'd maybe pooped a bit.

Ever seen a yellow shit fountain?

I now have.

Shower time.

:| Not amused. ( Not yet, anyway... )

So, Kat just went out to visit her Mum in hospital.

I need to finish an advert for Section 8 to go into the next 3 Max Power magazines.

Morgan's eating dinner, Lee's dozing in the lounge in his car seat.



And then the nightmare begins...

Deadline for this ad is, as far as I know, tomorrow morning.
So I, like, REALLY need to be working on it right now so it's finished and in the right format. Got a few folk helping me out, but I still need to be here tweaking.

So, of course, Morgan appears next to me, face all ketchup, demanding either TV or sweeties... I'm uncertain which.

Then, obviously, Lee starts screaming for no reason.
So hard he GIVES himself a reason, by shitting himself.

So I change Lee... And Morgan resumes her endless repetition of "MorganwanteeeeseeeesMorganwanteeeeseeeesMorganwanteeeeseeeesMorganwanteeeeseeeesMorganwanteeeeseeeesMorganwanteeeeseeees..."

I finally get him finished, and manage to get him sitting on a beanbag, watching TV.
Then I turn to look at Morgan.

"MorganwanteeeeseeeesMorganwan..."
Silence.

Never good.

Puddle.

REALLY never good.


So, I take her pants off, and her skirt, and put them in the wash.
And I tell her to go get a nappy from her room.
She's now in sulk mode, so refuses.

I point out that she's not getting the ham sannitch she asked for if she doesn't.

Morgan is in the habit of sitting on the stairs crying if she's in a huff.
I figured she was doing just that.

Told her "Go get a nappy. NOW!"
"No! No nappy! *Cry*"

After 5 or 6 minutes of this, Lee starts again.
And this isn't crying. It's SCREAMING!

Goes right through you, makes your ears actually hurt.
Tried feeding him, tried changing him... Cuddles, dummy, toys, the lot.

Then I look up.


I see the little arm, up on the ceiling.
I see the little hand, on the end of the little arm.
I see the little finger, on the little hand, on the end of the little arm.

Stuck in the goddamn smoke detector.


So, I go up to remove said finger from said plastic smoke detector.
Pulling does nothing.
I THEN notice the metal mesh just inside the plastic shell of the smoke detector... Morgan's sodding finger is under and past this mesh, so if she pulls, it just sticks harder - Like an old fashioned letterbox.


I should also point out that she's still naked save for a T-shirt at this point, having decnded to investigate the detector en route to her cache of nappies.

So, one ladder-fetching and screwdriver-poking later, and she's out and OK.

Lee's still screaming.

I get a nappy, and put Lee into it.

Then the phone goes.
Then the OTHER phone goes.
Then the door goes...

All three of THOSE dealt with ( Hi Mark, Claire and Claire's Sister. Good to see y'all, even briefly! ), I try to go back to the ad.
Lee's now sitting happily in his car seat once more.

Then the phone goes.
I go to answer it, and all of a sudden, Lee's screaming again.

And Morgan's holding a small plastic monkey.
Another plastic monkey is in Lee's car seat.

And Lee is face down on the floor.


Scenario duly constructed, Morgan duly chastised, Lee duly cuddled and make-sure-he's-OK-ed... I sit down to finish the bloody ad off.

And Lee starts screaming again, while Morgan keeps trying to take my hand off the mouse, and demanding jelly.


If Photoshop crashes now, there will be a killing spree.

Big one.

Cryyyptic...

Last post?

Aye - My sister's away travelling the world.
The plan was for her to be away for a year, maybe up to three. New Zealand, via Thailand, Vietnam and other places that good movies tend to be set in.

Thing is... She didn't realise until last week that she'd fallen pregnant right before she left.

Everyone's very happy about it, and it's gonna be amusing playing the "Point out that they can't possibly use THAT name, because of reasons, X, Y and Z" from the other side of the fence this time!

Muahahahaha.

WTF? Wow.

I, for one, welcome our new ginger overlords.
:D

Fuck's sake...

So, the last I spoke to Mum and David, they were going to come over here for probably around 6, leaving around 7 to go visit Grandad.

For some reason, Mum's not bothered phoning anyone today to keep them posted, so Grandma's been ringing me wondering what the hell's going on.

I'd arranged to meet people just after 7:30 to sort some stuff out for tomorrow and the like, and now when I phone Mum and David ( not having had a call since they told me they'd be coming here straight from evening visiting ) they've now decided to sto pat a café, then are going to pick David's mum up from Maarns, drop her back at Netherlee and THEN they might consider coming up here to get the kids.


As with the UKAN situation - I fucking hate feeling like I'm expected to be eternally grateful for a favour that turns out to be half a favour... Especially when I'm not actually informed when each part of the plan is changed.

They'll be over here now around 9, if I'm lucky.

So much for the meeting.



Oh, and Lee won't stop screaming unless he's on my knee and Morgan's decided not to tell me she needed a piss, so stood in the hall and wet her pants and jeans.


Raging.

Gutted.

There's a 20th anniversary screening of Aliens ( Double-featured with Starship Troopers ) down in England in a fortnight.

On a mahooosive outdoor screen.

Can't bloody go :(
Skint, busy, and have already double-booked myself for that weekend by getting tickets to see Kevin Smith do a Q&A in Edinburgh as well as booking a Drymen airsoft game.

Need another excuse to hook up with the troops ( Fuck you, neds, we're taking that term back! WE'RE TAKING IT BACK! ) again.
Specially since my armour's all lovely and painted now. Can't wait to start graffiti-ing it :)

Pulse rifle's coming along slowly but surely.

Pensieves...

I have to agree with Vonnie - It'd be great to have a Harry Potter style magic bowl into which you can bung all the shit you don't wanna think about right now but might need to refer to later.

It'd also be good if there was some way to vent without having to assume that your friends are going to listen to your woes and not have a go right back at you.

Ever feel like you're standing on a cliff screaming out to sea?
In my head, I'm like that all the time. I bottle it up way more than is healthy for me, I suspect, but if I let it go I'd start sobbing and not stop until I cried fucking dust.

If things were outright BAD, 100% shite, it'd be better, ironically enough.

It's the feeling of the good stuff throwing the bad into such sharp relief that makes it hurt so much.

I'm getting deja vu here.
I must have felt this way for too long.
I'm on an emotional mobius strip. Keep going long enough, I'll end up back where I started and have moved without changing position.


It's just struck me that I currently must sound like an emo kid.

"LOL".

Oh shit, I forgot to post the good news!

September 29th, 2007...
Kat and I are getting married.

Woo!

Booked Eastwood House and The Redhurst Hotel ( I'm heading down to pay the full deposit for the Redhurst tomorrow. )


That aside - The two Airsoft forums that I use have merged.
No huge thing there, as they were run by the same folk. But the owners have passed them on to the old admin team.

Which is a good thing, as the old owner was an arrogant, rude, snide git, who treated users like shit most of the time unless they were his mates.
The general party line was "You're all here on tolerance. You have no rights whatsoever."
Everyone was fine with that until it bit them in the arse...

Anyway, I'm now moving to a third forum, because said old owner started a flamewar in a thread I'd started trying to convince some of my sceptical players that the changeover was a good thing in terms of software and staff.
The guy kept harping on, claiming I had some sort of vendetta.
Couldn't get it through his head that it's possible to be grateful for something, yet still feel that it wasn't done 100% correctly.

And, obviously, I'm a shitbag because I never said anything while he was in charge.

No, I didn't. Because I knew fine well I'd have been banned.


I hate bullies.
And that's exactly what Fluffy is. An arrogant, self-righteous bully.


THAT aside, it's Morgan's birthday on Friday and we were gonna hit the Playbarn on Sat afternoon.
We'd kinda decided that it was likely gonna be too mobbed anyway, when I got a call ( Whilst poking fish at the Sea Life Centre at Lomond Shores ) asking if I could run an airsoft stag do on Saturday as the guys originally meant to do it had had to cancel.

Turned the dude down, and pointed him at CQB Scotland and The Fort, but he couldn't get hold of them, so I'm doing it.

I know I keep saying I'd love for business to pick up to the extent I can run airsoft games at least once a week, but right NOW it's too damn hectic!
Bad timing. Should be a fun game though.